Hey kids! Do you happen to have $25,000 dollars or the equivalent in Euros rattling around inside one of your recession-era bank-mattresses? Well why not go for broke -- literally! -- by placing a bid in this online auction to win a private dinner with Sarah Palin! You, along with four of your friends, will be whisked away to have dinner with the former Alaska Governor and her husband. It's basically the premise of Charlie And the Chocolate Factory except in this story, Willy Wonka manufactures death panel lies instead of everlasting gobstoppers!
You can place a bid, right now, on eBay, the very site that Sarah Palin pretended to use to sell that plane. Your money will go to Ride 2 Recovery, which is a charity benefiting wounded veterans, not some ornate legal defense fund. So, really, there's no reason for you not to do this! Be warned though: there are plenty of reasons why you might not be allowed to do this!
According to the lengthy disclaimer, bidders must pass a mandatory background check, like you were buying a gun or something! Palin will determine the site of the dinner -- probably a picnic table right next to her favorite Alaskan turkey-grinding machine -- and reserves the right to bring three guests of her choosing, in case you totally start boring her or asking tough questions about domestic policy. Also, the winner may only bring "one item of reasonable size" to the dinner, so...no, Sarah Palin will not be autographing your Beanie Baby collection, sorry.
Also, there's this:
Dinner shall last no more than four hours, but could be less, in the sole discretion of Sarah Palin.* Governor Palin reserves the right to refuse dinner with a winning bidder if, in her sole discretion, the winning bidder is not a suitable bidder based on her subjective standards of suitability, professionalism, background and other factors.
So, in other words, don't get any funny ideas, Levi Johnston!