Satan Discloses Ten-Year Deal With Jeff Zucker

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - In a bombshell that seemed to resolve a mystery that has puzzled many in the media industry, Satan today revealed that he signed a ten-year deal with NBC chief Jeff Zucker back in 2000.

That was the year Mr. Zucker was picked to run NBC Entertainment, Satan said, "and watching what he has done to the network since then has been worth every penny to me."

While the trade papers first reported that the deal involved an all-cash purchase of Mr. Zucker's soul, Satan denied that, saying that it was a "lease with an option to buy."

Now that the deal has expired, the Prince of Darkness said that he and Mr. Zucker have parted company, but he expressed amazement that his former protégé continues to hold onto his job at NBC without his satanic protection.

"Frankly, I didn't think there was anyone else out there evil enough to buy Jeff Zucker's soul," he said, "but then Comcast came along." More here.