Satirizing Donald Trump: 'God Can't Control His Brand'

By Barbara Falconer Newhall

Up till now, Donald Trump has been the Teflon candidate -- criticism bounces off him like bullets off the chest of Superman. But now Scott Dikkers, comic writer and founding editor of "The Onion," steps up to take a satirical swing at The Donald with his new book, "Trump's America: The Complete Loser's Guide."

Dikkers lands his punches. Here's Trump bloviating on the topic of faith: "Jesus was a nobody who couldn't keep his hair out of his eyes and whose apostles were a bunch of weirdos and lowlifes." As for God, "He's a Grade-A loser who can't control his brand."

In 164 slick pages "Trump's America" (Micro Publishing Media, Inc., $19.95) nails the The Donald bombast on many topics, not least of which is the topic of religion: "If I

Editor Scott Dikkers at BookExpo America 2016 with Sean Smith, who lent his comedic talents to the writing of "Trump's America." Photo by Barbara Newhall

were Jesus," contributing writer Sean Smith has him saying, "my apostles would be made up of people who were very big in their fields. The top scholars."

And: "Put me in charge of the church and I could fix it in a week. Get the brightest people in there and throw the dummies out."

Dikkers' Trump: 'Jesus Was Thinking Small'

"Trump's America" quotes Jesus as saying: "Love your neighbor." To which Donald -- who has spoken to much bigger crowds -- replies: "I get along with everybody, not just my neighbors. Jesus was thinking small. "

Also, "I'm worth over 8 billion dollars, how much was Jesus worth?"

Dikker's book goes on to skewer the Republican Party's presumptive presidential nominee on the environment ("hippie crap"), science ("If Einstein was so smart, why wasn't he rich?") and the world community ("un-American"). Things do get a little raunchy here and there in this book. But, if you are among the seven in ten Americans who perceive Donald Trump unfavorably (as a loser?) that's a small price to pay for 164 pages of belly laughs.

c 2016 Barbara Falconer Newhall. All rights reserved.

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