Kiera & Monte Durham striking a pose
If you closed your eyes and imagined someone who fit this profile, you would most likely visualize someone with at least 2 or more decades under their belt. Enough time on this earth to say I have overcome some things which shall remain conquered in my past.
Now, open your eyes and meet her. Kiera*, 18 years old and on her way to college. Leaving behind a past that majority of people in the generations ahead of her, would have broken down in silence. Yet, Kiera’s strength and resilience is the reason why she is able to declare that each day is another opportunity to further define who she is in this world, than rather allow her past to haunt her into depression.
8 o’clock in the morning, I held back the tears as Kiera told me her childhood story. I knew she wasn’t looking for an apology, but it was all I could muster up at the moment. Until, I looked into her eyes and saw the truth in our encounter: She was me. I was her. But we are all, HER.
The HER that despite our flaws and imperfections, we still decided to move forward in our journey. The HER that regardless of our past circumstances, the hurt that others may have inflicted on us, we are still going to fearlessly and boldly be our best selves. The HER that pivots the tears, the heartaches, the disappointments into lessons learned and beautiful triumphs of maturity.
What I saw in Kiera was a spirit of excellence and perseverance that took me years to develop and maintain. Yet, at a very young age - Kiera has already recognized/acknowledged the strength within herself and the grace that surrounds her.
An hour later, it was time for Kiera and I to embark on a journey neither of us were fully prepared for, but we knew it would be a memorable experience for the rest of our lives.
At the “Say Yes to the Prom” event, hosted by Discovery Communications/TLC and supported by many other brands/companies, students from all over the NYC area have a chance to choose their entire prom attire for free. Kiera was among a few hundred students selected to experience the day, based on academic excellence and social merit.
” ‘Say Yes to the Prom’ was a dream come true for me. My goal for prom was to be comfortable and feel confident in the way I looked. I mainly wanted to express myself and be who I know myself to be. I did not think my goal would be feasible, but I was definitely proven wrong,” Kiera reflected.
Janelle Monae was the sweet inspiration for the day. It led Kiera and I away from the fanfare of the prom dresses and directly into the Men’s Warehouse / guys dressing area. Each guy welcomed Kiera into the fold, rarely questioning her decision to break the mold on what a typical prom attire should be for someone like “HER”.
Throughout the entire day, Kiera sparkled. Her light spoke volumes, her smile radiated across dimensions, she broke down barriers just with her presence. Even Monte Durham had to admit, this girl is doing the damn thing! You couldn’t deny that Kiera was HER own person, HER own brand, HER own voice.
“I felt like I was in paradise. I would have never thought that there was a place where I would feel completely happy and not under pressure to be someone I'm not. I loved that there was a no judgment zone for every student participating in the event. Everywhere I stepped there was another surprise awaiting; there was never a dull moment. I can honestly say that I had the time of my life and I have gone to Disney World five times!” Kiera’s smile lit up as she reflected back to her day.
Beyond the glitz and the glam, the runway and the Betsy Johnson antics - there was something much more profound that took place in the undercurrent of the experience. A metamorphosis.
As the final preparations were underway for the runway show, Kiera sat in the salon chair getting her hair and makeup touched up for the final reveal. As the hair stylist turned the salon chair around to face the mirror, for the first time - Kiera saw her full reflection. She saw herself. The vision she has always seen, but was unsure if it would truly manifest.
Kiera gazing into her reflection.
The tears slid down her face as she looked directly into the eyes of her own reflection. The amazement and shock of coming face to face with yourself. Kiera witnessed the deeper reflection of herself. A vision that was gifted to show her that she is everything she has always known herself to be. That regardless of the broken pieces behind her, they do not make up the totality of who she really is. That even without makeup, she is a beautiful soul.
I watched her eyes search for the fairy tale to end, for the dream to become suddenly interrupted by an alarm clock. But it never happened. Kiera had officially met HER true, beautiful self.
Boldly and fearlessly she walked down the runway. Cheers and applauds filled up the atmosphere, as she put one foot in front of the other and confidently slayed it. Her confidence was undeniable!
In the crowd was Kiera’s school counselor, the woman who identified Kiera as the perfect candidate to receive this once in a lifetime opportunity. After the runway, Ms. Boxcell looked at Kiera in sheer amazement and awe. Tears filled her eyes as she witnessed the light which had broken through from Kiera's metamorphosis.
“As a teacher, mentor, advisor and surrogate mom to many, I too often hear (the student’s) struggles, disappointments and heartbreaks that would break the spirits of many adults. On the surface, these students come to school as if nothing is wrong and strive for academic and personal excellence. Selecting these students made me feel like their fairy godmother. I was just as excited as they were for this opportunity.”
Ms. Boxcell and Kiera post runway slay!
For more than a decade, Ms. Boxcell has been a NYC public school special education teacher/counselor. During her journey through education, she has witnessed how students social-emotional needs are not being met, resulting in detrimental labels becoming attached to their educational pathways, e.g “low achievers” or “problem students”. Serving as a school counselor has allowed her to work more in depth with a population of students that need more school support to achieve their educational goals.
Going beyond just complimenting the students on their transformations and runway walks, Ms. Boxcell shared with her students a deeper sentiment to take back home with them. “I told them that life is a circle. That if they just continue to persevere, be resilient, keep their heads up, and most of all, be a person of good character they [will] be rewarded. I told them that in this journey called life, at some point the universe will give you back what you put out. I expressed that life definitely has its highs and lows, but when you lead with your heart, it will touch the hearts of others.”
Ms. Boxcell’s students
Kiera’s story is unique, but sadly it is not uncommon. The more I connect with the generation behind us, the more I hear about the early trauma and life shattering experiences these children must learn to navigate through. Sometimes, silently by themselves.
Like Ms. Boxcell, it’s important that once we identify a need or a gap within our own communities, we must answer that call to find a solution. These children are relying on us to help create new opportunities/revelations to help bring them through, or at least direct them towards the best, vetted resources that can.
We can always “Say Yes” to the prom or to the dress, but is that really enough? Is that all this generation needs?
It’s time for all of us to “Say Yes” to the Generation of Now and Next. To the generation that already understands what resistance and resilience looks like. To the generation that has already come to grips with being THE generation to turn the world around and move it progressively forward. To the generation that just wants to be themselves, instead of cookie cutter advertising demographics. To the generation that is already creating innovative opportunities to ensure the generation’s future success and a seat at the table.
That generation. The generation of now and the generation of next.
Will you “Say Yes”?
Thank you Kiera for allowing me to be a part of your experience and your metamorphosis. It was truly an honor to be a witness to your realizations, reflections and revelations within yourself.
Special thanks to the companies/brands that connected with and supported Kiera throughout her journey that day: Janelle Monáe, Discovery Communications/TLC, Say Yes to the Dress/Prom, Monte Durham, Seventeen Magazine, Paul Mitchell, Macy’s, Men’s Warehouse and AT&T.