Saying "BYE FELICIA" to the Guys of 2014

With another year almost in the books, I can't help but reminisce about my romantic hits and misses. But let's be real, they were pretty much all misses. So while it may seem premature to start thinking about the end of 2014 and the start of a new me in 2015, I feel it appropriate to start saying my goodbyes. So here are a few heartfelt goodbyes to the guys who will always have a place in my memory, but who will firmly remain in 2014.

  • Goodbye beautiful Australian who helped me find my Thai hotel on New Years. I could barely understand a word you said, but hot damn were you adorable. I still regret not giving you my name.

  • Goodbye salsa instructor who I swore I was successfully romancing on his birthday. It seemed like there was potential there, but alas, I just wasn't the rueda dancing girl of your dreams.
  • Goodbye ex-NFL player who took a delightful nap on my floor. Thinking you had died due to lack of movement, I had to call in reinforcements. My friends still haven't let me live it down.
  • Goodbye kickballer who made me pay for my own McGriddle. Our mutual love of movies and pop culture was the cutest, but your job on enemy soil (Burger King) was unnerving.
  • Goodbye law student who asked for a ride home and initiated an awkward STD talk. Thanks for being a class act during subsequent run-ins.
  • Goodbye Plenty of Fishers. You were certainly an interesting experiment. And may you all find love in that hopeless place.
  • Goodbye creeper who weaseled his way into my apartment under the pretense of needing to charge his phone. You are the reason women can't have nice things.
  • Goodbye unrequited crushes. My thirst really knew no bounds.
  • Goodbye bad boy. It was nice while it lasted, but I can't say you didn't warn me. Sad that the story of us ended so tragically.
  • Goodbye and good riddance guys, bros and man-children of Miami. And hello to new stories and new horizons in 2015.