Scary Mommy Confessions: Share Your Secrets With The Stress-Less Parenting Club

CHALLENGE: Get Your Parenting Confessions Off Your Chest

Back in the beginning of 2011, I noticed a trend on my blog: The people who left comments linking back to their own blogs or Facebook pages tended to be tame and reserved, while the people who commented anonymously were heartfelt and honest, sometimes brutally so.

The realization made me wonder what sort of sentiments would be shared if everything on my site was anonymous, but discovering other sites through the comments bloggers leave is one of the best parts about the blogosphere -- I couldn’t disable that altogether. So, instead, I created a single place on the site -- the Scary Mommy Confessional -- where there was no linking back, no username and no way to identify the person behind the statement. That way, people were free to say exactly what they wanted to say, without fearing judgment or negative repercussions. The reaction to the Confessional blew my mind -- my readers had so much more to say than I could have ever predicted, and each confession was an opportunity to kiss some stress goodbye.

Today, there are well over 320,000 confessions. They range from hilarious to shocking to sad to juicy and everything in between. Here are few of my favorites…

  • There was a round, brown pellet on the floor. I assumed it was an oddly shaped chocolate chip, but I sniffed it to be sure. Thank God, because it wasn't chocolate at all.
  • In the shopping center today, I nearly dropped my 6-year-old off at the lost-children sign and pretended he wasn’t mine. I know how bad that sounds, but his attitude was THAT BAD. And I am THAT TIRED.
  • I went grocery shopping by myself for the first time in six years. I spent an embarrassingly long time in the detergent aisle opening each one and inhaling the heavenly scent of peace and quiet.
  • With tears glistening in my eyes, I make sure to say those three wonderful words to my precious child every single day: “It’s bed-time, son.”
  • The intention was to sneeze gracefully with my face covered. The execution? Right as I sneezed I had to grab my crotch to keep from peeing myself. These are not the mom decisions I envisioned.
  • I spent most of yesterday’s car ride fantasizing about pulling the car over, kicking my two fighting kids out, and peeling the hell out of there while blasting some music and flipping them off.
  • I put salt in my coffee this morning. My hair is un-washed. I haven’t slept in two years. I regularly injure myself on small plastic objects. I envy my pets' daily routine. I depend on caffeine and Sesame Street. I. Am. Mom.
  • Hidden in the pantry in a box labeled “flour,” is top of the line chocolate and a few joints. I rarely resort to it, but it’s a comfort knowing it’s there.
  • I joined a gym just for the free daycare. I drop the kids off and read magazines and blogs in the locker room.
  • I kiss my young teenager goodbye in the morning as she leaves for school, rising above the hormone-fueled snarling and histrionics. Then I close the front door and flip her off, with both hands.

Can you relate to any? I, for one, can relate to several. OK, if we’re being honest, more than several.

Your challenge: If you dare, leave a confession in the comments or tweet them to @HuffPostParents with #stressconfession, or if you’d prefer anonymity, hop on over to my Confessional and leave it there. The only reaction you’ll get is one of support -- either in the form of a hug, a "like" or a "me, too." You’ve got nothing to lose.

Want a bonus point? How about opening up to someone in your real (or online) life with your confession? Chances are, that "horrible" thing you’ve been beating yourself up over might not be that uncommon after all. Besides, we’re mothers… it takes an awful lot to shock us now.

Are you game?

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Scary Mommy Confessions