Parenting involves a lot of routines. But even in the day-to-day grind, there’s always something new, interesting or downright hilarious to observe.
Take school pick-up, for example. The funny parents of Twitter frequently share comical musings about this daily ritual.
From embarrassing moments to unforgivable late arrivals, here are 30 hilarious and too-real tweets about school pick-up.
The worst part of having a school-aged kid is having to put on a bra & pretend I wasn't in my pajamas all day when it's time to pick her up.
— Ash (an female) ⚪️ (@adult_mom) August 29, 2016
My 11 year-old was saying her bedtime prayers and she had the nerve to ask God for “mommy to be on time for school pick up tomorrow.” I’VE BEEN LATE ONCE.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) December 22, 2017
In hell, the lady in front of you in the school pick up line's kid never finishes getting his seat belt on.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 14, 2015
how awkward am i?
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 10, 2021
a mom at school pick-up introduced herself to me and said her name to me 3 times and i said how nice it was to meet her
…and as i drove off i realized she probably wanted to know my name in return
School pick up is done so now I can change out of my nice track pants and into my extra comfy leggings.
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) October 4, 2019
I successfully backed into a parking spot at school pick up so excuse me while I ride this high for the rest of the ye- oh there’s a traffic cone stuck under my car. Never mind.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) January 5, 2022
As a dad with a full time job I don’t get to pick up my 4 year old from school very often. But the times I finish early and go to surprise him are worth it when I see his little face, and he sees me, and he holds out his arms, and shouts out: “Urgh I wanted mummy to pick me up!”
— three time daddy (@threetimedaddy) November 5, 2021
Husband said he'll do dishes for a week if I pick up the kids from school in my footie pj's & I'm like ok, except I've already done it twice
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) December 5, 2016
I’ve been sitting in this school pick up line so long, I have vultures circling
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 1, 2021
I was gonna get my toddler her favorite smoothie and surprise her with it at school pick up but then realized if I do it today she’s gonna expect it tomorrow and every day after that and THIS, this is why she can’t have nice things.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) April 11, 2019
School drop off me and school pick up me are not the same person
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) August 30, 2021
How much time passes from the minute I drop kids at school until I pick them up 7 hrs later:
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) February 5, 2020
approx 37 min
How much time passes from the minute I pick them up from school until they finally fall asleep that night:
exactly 19 days, 22 hours, 49 minutes and 37 seconds
I’m not the mom socializing or making small talk on the playground at school pick up. I’m the mom, hiding in my car, scrolling social media.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 31, 2020
My 5-year-old daughter is confident, happy, and not afraid to speak her mind. All these amazing qualities come out at once when she announces that she has to poop to her entire kindergarten class when I pick her up from school.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) April 14, 2019
I'm all about kindness for and acceptance of other women.
— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) June 21, 2021
Except at school drop off and pick up. Then I'm only like: "Move, bitch. Get out the way!"
I get to school pick up an hour early because it’s relaxing and I enjoy being the line leader. Am I ok?
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) October 31, 2019
My favorite cardio workout is the one when I overestimate the time I have to holiday shop before rushing back to pick my kids up from school.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) December 20, 2017
Other kids at school pick up: *happy talk *
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) October 16, 2019
My son at school pickup: We heard a story about a king who was old, like 47, and he died and I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE WHEN YOU GET OLD
Me: I'll meet you in the pick-up line after school.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 11, 2017
5-year-old: You don't drive a pickup. You drive a van.
That scene in A Christmas Story when the dad is fixing the furnace except it’s me in the school pick up line.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) December 9, 2021
A pissing contest but it’s just moms at school pick up competing over whose kid was sicker this past winter.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) March 22, 2019
[phone rings]
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) June 8, 2015
"Mr Hughes?"
"Yeah."
"We need u to come pick yr son up from school."
"Ugh. Whats he done now?"
"Nothing. Its nearly midnight."
Wife: can you pick the kids up in an hour?
— The Dad (@thedad) December 2, 2019
Me: yeah easy
Wife: stop flexing I mean from school
If you haven't heard two people in dressing gowns argue about who's more tired are you even at school pick up?
— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) March 3, 2020
Nap time. When I write a lot, I reward myself with naps. Try it. (Set an alarm so you pick up your dependents from school on time.)
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) May 15, 2018
I don’t know why there’s mercury in gatorade or how that has any impact on my life but a mom at the school pick up line said I could blame all my problems on it and honestly I’ve never been more relieved.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) March 28, 2019
Took my husband’s car to pick up the kids from school today.
— Heather 🏳️🌈🇺🇦✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽 (@dishs_up) October 16, 2019
He never picks them up.
Let's see how long it takes them to figure out it's me *evil laugh*
Arrive early to pick your son up from school like the present father you are. Then he will do this to you. pic.twitter.com/DRjv2sBMRI
— Kevín (@KevOnStage) January 13, 2022
I was having so much fun drinking coffee and watching TV I almost forgot to pick my kid up from school!
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) October 3, 2018
FB reaction: Whoopsie, haha!
Twitter reaction: I know, right?
IG reaction: I already picked up your kid, did their homework & gave them a snack designed to look like Shrek!
I forgot what I had to do at 2:30 and y'all it turns out it's pick up my three children from school lololololbrb
— 🥴steph🥴 (@eff_yeah_steph) August 31, 2018
This is part of a HuffPost Parents series called Enjoy The Ride. Read more here.
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