Scientists Discover Another Thing You're Too Stupid To Understand

Physicists reported this week the discovery of a new material that could upend previously held notions in both both quantum physics and bioinformatics, two subjects that your tiny brain couldn’t even begin to grasp.

The discovery was made after a 10-year long study by faculty at Cal Tech and Harvard University, two schools you had no business applying to in the first place. The team believes information gathered from the project has potential applications in the medical, tech, and agricultural fields. “It’s really a game changer! These findings would’ve been mere fantasy only half a century ago” said Dr. Selbi, a person with a career your parents didn’t even pretend was a possibility for you.

She says that there is still hard work ahead to replicate the study but that issue is nowhere near how difficult it’s going to be to make dumb dumbs like you even begin to get what she’s talking about. “I recommend that average Americans just wait for the eventual Netflix documentary to come out that gets 90% of what we’re doing here wrong” laughed Dr. Selbi.