A key -- perhaps the key -- to a happy life is self-knowledge, because as the Fifth Splendid Truth holds, "I can build a happy life only on the foundation of my own nature." In my own case, I've found that the more my life reflects my real interests, values, and temperament, the happier I become.
But it's very hard to know ourselves; it's easy to be distracted by the way we wish we were, or think we ought to be, or what others think we should be, until we lose sight of what is actually true.
As Christopher Alexander observed: "It is hard, so terribly hard, to please yourself. Far from being the easy thing that it sounds like, it is almost the hardest thing in the world, because we are not always comfortable with that true self that lies deep within us."
Here is a list of questions meant to help you think about yourself, your daily habits, your nature, and your interests. There are no right or wrong answers; they're fodder for reflection.
- If something is forbidden, do you want it less or more?
Is there an area of your life where you feel out of control? Especially in control? If you unexpectedly had a completely free afternoon, what would you do with that time? Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorderly environment? How much time do you spend looking for things you can't find? Are you motivated by competition? Do you find it easier to do things for other people than to do things for yourself? Do you work constantly? or think you should be working? Do you embrace rules or flout rules? Do you work well under pressure? What would your perfect day look like? How much TV do you watch in a week (include computer time spent watching videos, movies, YouTube)? Are you a morning person or a night person? What's more satisfying to you: saving time or saving money? Do you like to be in the spotlight? Is your life "on hold" in any aspect? Until you finish your thesis, get married, lose weight? What would you do if you had more energy? If you suddenly had an extra room in your house, what would you do with it? What people and activities energize you? Make you feel depleted? Is it hard for you to get rid of things that you no longer need or want? Do you get frustrated easily? On a typical night, what time do you go to bed? How many hours of sleep do you get?If at the end of the year, you had accomplished one thing, what is the one accomplishment that would make the biggest difference to your happiness?
And here's another question for you. What questions would you add to this list, to help other people know themselves better? It's so important, and so elusive.
Would you like to launch or join a Happiness Project group in your area? Here is the information to get you started. Email me if you'd like the starter kit for starting a group.
For more by Gretchen Rubin, click here.
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