If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times: Sam, self-love is a hard sell. No one walks around thinking, "How can I love myself more?"
What you're thinking is:
- How can I lose 20 pounds?
- How can I find true love, a best friend, my soul mate?
- How can I improve my relationships with family and friends?
- How can I make more money, get ahead?
- How can I get healthier?
Is this you?
Trust me, I get it.
You're a smart, successful, high achieving woman who wants it all and wants it now but you may be caught up in the "when... then" game.
Do any of these sound familiar?
When I lose 20 pounds, then I'll be able to wear a bikini on the beach.
When I meet the man of my dreams, then I'll finally be happy.
When I get the promotion, then my money problems will disappear.
Essentially, what I'm hearing is that self-love isn't exactly high on your priority list.
Can I ask why?
Because, if you think about it, what is the one thing that all human beings want more than anything else in the world?
To be loved and to be happy.
And what do they think they'll get from being thinner, looking and feeling healthier, having better relationships and being more financially secure?
You guessed it: love and happiness.
Most of us think that we can change how we feel by changing our external circumstances. We try to feel differently by looking outside of ourselves, believing the key is "out there", but the truth is, you're looking in the wrong place. We can exhaust ourselves trying to change our external circumstances to achieve some external results, but at the end of the day, if you don't go within, you go without. When we learn to flex our self-love muscles and choose love over fear, that is when your transformation begins.
I speak from experience, and had to learn this important lesson the hard way. It took 5 years, debilitating cystic acne and almost $30,000 (yes, I totaled it up) trying to fix myself, to find that external something that would solve all my problems before I realized that everything I was doing was simply treating a symptom of a bigger issue, which was that I didn't love or fundamentally accept myself. I was living my life based on the need for outside validation, approval, and affection. Every choice I made in my life was coming from a place of fear, rather than love.
There is little doubt in my mind that suffering from severe cystic acne was the Universe's way of saying to me, "You're not meant to be doing this anymore sweetheart and unfortunately, the only way you will listen is if we send you a message you can't ignore."
Message received. Loud and clear.
Now, you may not have cystic acne like I did, for you it could be something different entirely. But I want you to think about that thing in your life that is constantly plaguing you, looming over you like a big, black cloud. That thing you're struggling with, that is keeping you stuck and unhappy. If I can impress one thing upon you today, let it be this: You are good enough. And it doesn't matter if you don't have a thigh gap, you're currently single, you have acne on your face or your career hasn't taken the direction you expected it to. No amount of dieting, green juicing, and Tinder dates is going to be the key to unlocking your happiness.
You need to FLY. First Love Yourself.
The first and often only step you need to find the success, happiness, health and fulfillment (in any area of life) that you seek begins with first loving yourself. That's why I created this resource to help you make self-love a choice rather than an afterthought in your life.
Self-love is a choice you make in every moment of every day for the rest of your life. Just like you would join a gym or hire a trainer to strengthen your physical muscles, you can exercise your self-love muscle in much the same way. And you do this through practice, commitment and consistency. When you become aware of the way you relate to yourself, learn to cultivate self-compassion and take action on doing the things that truly light you up inside, you are laying the foundation to develop a beautiful relationship with the most important person in your life... yourself.
And that, my darling, is the key to getting anything and everything you want.