I don't like it when people smoke around me. I don't like breathing cigarette smoke, I don't like getting it on my clothes, hair and skin, and perhaps more than anything else I don't like the inherent civic rudeness of public smoking - the idea that someone can contaminate the air of someone else without a second thought.
But sometimes my desire not to be around cigarette smoke runs up against other desires: for instance, my desire to have a good time on my trip to Spain this summer.
Spain has history, culture, cities, beaches, and really attractive people. Spain has a lot of smokers, too. Spaniards smoke in restaurants, they smoke in bars, they smoke while pushing strollers, they smoke on the beach. Spain has a toothless no-smoking ordinance, so in the majority of smaller restaurants and bars everyone can and does smoke.
I didn't fly to Spain to mainline other people's nicotine, but on the other hand I didn't fly to Spain to be crabby and obsessive. What to do?
One idea central to coaching and positive psychology is that how we choose to perceive things affects how we feel about them. As I walked around Barcelona trying to find a place where I could eat without getting cinders in my eyes, I came up with this list of tips for being happy in a smoking country.
- Create a goal, not an expectation. When I assumed that restaurants in Spain would be nonsmoking and discovered they were not, I gnashed my teeth. When I changed this expectation into the goal of finding one of the handful of clean-air dining places, I walked with a different attitude. It was like a treasure hunt: "I know there are some smoke-free restaurants here in Barcelona, and I am going to succeed in finding one! And it will be awesome!"