Sexcation is defined as a vacation devoted entirely to sex. Sexcations usually occur over a long weekend, and the couple spend most of their time either in bed, having sex or eating food worthy of photographing. Sometimes, couples take specialized sexcation retreats or workshops. Some even hire a sexpert to plan their sexcation and coach them through revitalizing their sexual relationship. Sexcations are all about fun and renewal.
Let's face it, many long-term relationships find that their erotic life changes over time for many reasons. Sometimes, it is simply the daily grind of life that does our sex lives in. Raising kids, work, extended family obligations and even health changes or the aging process shifts our erotic lives.
Ever hear of the seven-year itch? It happens. We simply get bored and need something to shake up our sex lives. There are so many reasons why couples need to shake out the cob webs of their erotic lives, and that's where the sexcation comes in.
Sure, summer is here and that can spell vacation for many people. But don't be limited by the seasons. I love anticipation, and when planning a sexcation -- I suggest planning ahead and enjoying some wonderful sexy anticipation. Tease each other about the sexcation. Pull out all the goodies you have and put them in the suit case. Buy new ones. Bring the massage oils, vibrators, feathers, blindfolds, handcuffs (and keys), ropes, sex games, videos and sexy books. Pack anything you both have discussed and have yet to try. What happens on sexcation can stay on sexcation! .
Buy new lingerie -- and that goes for both partners! Read books that explore new ideas in the erotic realm. What about reading your favorite chapters to each other?
A fantastic sexcation needs foreplay!
Spend some time thinking about where you really want to go. What about surprising your partner and planning the whole thing? Sometimes, taking the time to plan every bit of the holiday and offering it up as a gift can be a very sexy start to a wonderful sexcation.
"Guess what we're doing this weekend, honey!?"
Another way to go is to sit with your partner and look at images of enticing destinations together and choose the location and venues together.
One hot trend is to bring along "Sexuality Camp Counselors". Sex experts that plan romantic getaways offer private play shops for couples. Many couples are now working with experts on revitalizing their sexual relationship and literally take them on vacation with them. The "Marriage Whisperers" are in charge of planning everything (kinda like a wedding planner) and the couple simply shows up ready to sexcation!
Sexcations are an amazing way to rekindle your sex life no matter how dormant it has been. There is something special about really planning time away together with sexuality as a goal.
Remember that while sexcations are about renewing and amping up the actual sex act with each other, sex is more than genitals on genitals and the resulting orgasms. Sex is also dancing, walking together, playing, laughing, doing new things, and spending time in a relaxed way together.
When planning a sexcation you need to make a few ground rules:
1. Limit social media and outside stress.
2. Be willing to try new things.
3. Don't say things like "You always do this".
4. Don't take the family.
5. Allow each other to try on new personas and don't make fun of them!
Why does a sexcation work? Vacations relax us and put us in an anticipatory frame of mind for having great sex. Great sex is all about being able to relax, try new things, let go and play. Explore being free with each other. When we plan a sexcation, we are showing up to experience ourselves as wilder and more adventurous. Now doesn't that sound like fun? Make it a goal to try and experiment with fantasies. Bring the props!
When we decide to bring the focus onto play and pleasure in our relationship, everything can start to feel like an aphrodisiac. Sexcations are a declaration of adult play time. Think of your sexcation as going to an adult theme park! And leave the obstacles, kids, bosses, family, and responsibilities at home. Have I made that part clear enough? It's essential.
This is a time about just you two -- your own getaway. It's a time to try on new ways of being and shift up the scenery so that your sex life can feel new and different. For those of us who have been with our partners for over a year -- it's time to get away, renew and play!
Happy Sexcation. Do it your way!