We hear about people getting turned on by weird things all the time. There are some women who get all hot and bothered when their husband cooks, and others... get excited when they learn their partner is having an affair. Hold the phone. What?!?
Marianne* is a mom of two who has been married to Joseph* for just under 10 years. Things took some sort of turn in her marriage last year when she acted out on a fantasy to have sex with a guy who has been flirting with her for some time now. He's a bartender -- how cliché, she says. She told her husband about the affair and instead of wanting a divorce, he wants her more. It turned him on. Let's let Marianne tell us more.
I feel like the luckiest woman in the history of the world. I cheated. I got my rocks off with some guy. It was fun and exciting and bad and naughty and did I mention exciting? But I didn't want to leave my husband. I just wanted some fling. Something to satisfy these intense sexual urges I was having and wasn't getting fulfilled at home. I acted on it, told my husband, and he not only forgave me but wanted to know details. It turned him on.
Maybe I should be worried but I'm not. Well, not really.
This fling I had with Jake*, the bartender at the local pub I won't dare step foot into again, was a long time coming. He has always flirted with me even when I was there with Joseph. Joseph and I had been very distant for many months when I was on a rare kid- and husband-free night out and Jake started flirting. I flirted back in a harmless way like I usually did but this time I also gave him my number. He called the next day. We made plans. We went to a hotel. Numerous times. Once a week for about two months. It got intense. I got scared. I wanted to have sex with my husband, not Jake. So I broke it off and told Joseph.
He wasn't happy. He felt sad and hurt and sorry he wasn't satisfying me. I told him how it made me realize so much and I felt awful. "No, you didn't," he said. "And that's okay." I was shocked. Joseph understood why I did it. He didn't want a divorce. He wanted me to tell him the best parts of having sex with someone else so he could please me in the same ways. It was weird at first, but I ended up telling him, little by little, more and more details were revealed. And now almost a year later, our sex life is better than it's ever been. We overcame my affair and sometimes Joseph even asks me to recount something from that time because it turns him on.
Strange? Maybe. But it works for us. And we're happier than ever.
*Names have been changed.