S-E-X in the Empty Nest


I knew a lot would change when my youngest went off to college. I have enough friends older than me who have been through it, so I thought I was prepared.

First of all, the workweek got so much easier. No longer do I need to rush home to eat dinner and help with homework. No more PTA meetings and back to school nights. No more rushing around in the morning to get everyone dressed, get the lunches made, get the kids to the bus, and then get on a train to New York.

I hate to say it but the workweek is now about me, and I kind of like it. I can schedule client dinners, cocktails with colleagues, and even date night with my love without feeling any guilt.

I kind of like the feeling, if I'm going to be honest, but I was prepared for it. I could see it coming and I've embraced the change.

What I didn't see coming was how much the weekends would change. Let's face it, when you've got kids the weekends are not your own. Every Saturday is filled with sports, birthday parties, shopping for school clothes or supplies, and basically running errands all day long. It's like another day of work in many ways.

And then Sunday is for any spill over and for getting ready for the week ahead. Going grocery shopping, making up food to eat all week long, and trying to spend a little time as a family... that's what Sunday looks like when you have kids in the house. That's why we started a tradition that we still honor: spaghetti and meatballs every Sunday night. Easy to shop for, easy to make, and plenty of leftovers for Monday night!

Well in the empty nest, the weekends change dramatically.

There's no one to take care of anymore. The hustle of the week is done, but there's no hustle of the family. It's just me and my love, no one else. We get to decide how we want to spend our time. Saturday morning comes and instead of asking, "What do we have to do today?" we now ask, "What do we want to do today?"

That's a huge shift, and it's profoundly changed what we do on Saturdays and Sundays. Out of the blue, we're having more S-E-X on the weekends, but not the kind you're thinking.

Sleeping in. I swear I haven't slept in since I was in college. We sleep in every weekend. It's glorious.

Eating breakfast. When the kids were young, sure I would make them breakfast, but I'd have to skip because there was just too darn much to do. Now I eat a full, casual, slow breakfast every weekend. It's wonderful.

Exercise. I've always been able to make time to exercise during the week; I cram it in at 5:00am every morning just to make sure it happens. But weekends were always catch as catch can. Sometimes I'd make it to the gym towards the end of the day if all went smoothly, sometimes I go for a run before everyone else got up, and sometimes I'd have to skip because it was just impossible to fit in. Now we leisurely go to the gym, spend two hours there if we want, and exercise the way you're supposed to...by not rushing through it. It's marvelous.

S-E-X is, well... glorious... wonderful... marvelous!

Don't get me wrong; I miss the kids. Immensely. But they're moving on and now I have to move on as well.

I just have to embrace the fact that how I spend my time has changed, and if I'm going to be honest I'm getting quite used to having more S-E-X on the weekends.

Oh yeah, and that too.