One of the fastest growing markets in sex education today is the "Baby Boomer." They grew up in the hot '60s and are now confronting their own myths around sexuality, midlife and aging. Most Boomers grew up believing that life after 50 was a fast trip into a kind of sexual deep sleep. But now that many Boomers have received their AARP card, they're finding that they're not ready for their sexuality to retire. Not even close! And the world is starting to stand up and take notice.
The over-50, midlife, baby boomer sexual being has arrived. And what they want is support and information around how to expand their sexuality with changing bodies.
Hold the advertisements for diapers please!
Let's Bust Some Myths Around Sexuality After 50
1. People 50 and older are not interested in sex. Over 50 men and women are reporting they they are indeed very interested in sex! For many there is a renewed curiosity about their bodies and a deep desire to explore their eroticism more fully. A National Council on Aging survey reports that among people age 60 and over who have regular intercourse, 74 percent of the men and 70 percent of the women find their sex lives more satisfying than when they were in their forties.
2. People 50 and older no longer want to explore their sexuality. While bodies may be changing and in need of some special attention -- such as with the hormonal shifts seen in women after menopause -- boomers are reporting a willingness to explore their sexuality in many out-of-the-box ways. They are exploring "Tantra," taking retreats centered around sexuality, and seeking out the support of sex coaches and therapists. The over-50 crowd is ready and willing to explore. They tend to be adventurous, orgasmic, and sexually curious.
3. People 50 and older just want to look younger. With all the focus on midlife plastic surgery and diets, you would think that sexuality in midlife is all about looking younger and attracting a partner. While that may be true for some, it's not what I'm seeing in my sex coaching practice or at my retreats for women. There is a shift. Boomers are wanting to "feel" sexy inside. Many are on a quest to find out what their sexual desires really are, and how to safely express them. If not now, when?
4. People 50 and older have boring sex. Boomers actually tend to be less "intercourse" driven. There is a new interest in "outercourse." They are buying books, watching videos, showing up for workshops and private retreats where they can learn new touch skills. The emphasis seems to have shifted to something deeper after 50. It's no longer about how to "get off." The Orgasm Olympics are less interesting. It's now about savoring and expanding pleasure.
5. People 50 and older are no longer willing to be sexually adventurous. Our capacity for pleasure, exploration, and wild adventures does not end with a birthday. Sex clubs are filled with boomers of every stripe.
When we turn 50, it can feel like we are standing at a sexual crossroads. For some, it can feel like they have a choice to make as a sexual being -- and it is a choice. Hitting midlife is not some kind of traffic light. I get that many people think so; but there's even a greater population who are stepping into midlife sexuality with a sense of excitement and freedom.
The good news is that, if you have the desire for more -- but just need a nudge of support -- it's available now like it has never been available before. It's about opening ourselves to a brand new way of embracing our bodies, our desires and our sexuality. It's about leaving the myths behind. It can be all brand new after 50.
Isn't that sexy?