For two Chicago neighbors, the thin line between love and hate is apparently the paper-thin wall separating their apartments.
Frustrated by the loud sex noises coming from next door, a fed-up tenant in a Boystown apartment building penned a "pipe down" missive to the neighbor -- and then slapped it on her front door.
Instead of being shamed into silence, however, "The girl in 517" shot back with a note of her own.
Naturally, a third neighbor (and Reddit user) who lives in the Boystown apartment snapped a photo of the sex noise note squabble for all to see.
In the first note to the noisy neighbor, the letter writer said "I'd really appreciate not having to hear every trust (sic) and moan," ending with a jab that "Luckily for me, it never lasts very long."
In response, "The girl in 517" chided her neighbor for attempted slut-shaming and advised her to get a vibrator as good as the one Lady 517 enjoys.
(Story continues below, see larger image)
The first note reads:
"Could you please put a record on super loud or something when you are F---ING?? I'd really appreciate NOT having to hear every single trust [sic] and moan right through the f---ing wall. And I'm SURE you'd rather not share THAT info with complete strangers. Luckily for me, it never lasts very long. "
And the response from "The girl in 517:"
"Dear Neighbor,
My, my! How lovely to meet you in this incredibly tactful, kind + civilized manner. Did you really need to post your hissyfit on my door like a whiney scarlet letter? ... Your obvious frustration from my pleasure saddens + confuses me. I'm not yelling, or anything terribly disrespectful. Apparently, we have the thinnest walls on Earth because -- I assure you -- the moans you're so upset by are masturbation induced. That's why it "doesn't last very long." I know what I'm doing and porn is free, + I have the best vibrator. I got it at Taboo Taboo [sic] down the street. You should really invest in one -- you sound a bit, uh, tense...
SEX IS NATURAL AND HEALTHY
I am proud of my sexuality, so your attempted SLUT-SHAMING is useless here. Had you approached me n a respectful manner, I would have been happy to oblige. But we all know our rent is exorbitant. I pay enough to do whatever I please in the privacy of my own home. AND PLEASE I SHALL! I suggest you whip out your big girl panties and deal with it.
Much love!
- The girl in 517"
The neighbor -- who wished to only be identified by the Reddit handle "simonedeboviary" -- told HuffPost there were no follow-up notes or other updates to speak of since the image was posted Tuesday, except that "the messages have been taken down from the door."
(h/t RedEye)