You’ve probably heard of the orgasm gap: in heterosexual relationships, women statistically have fewer orgasms than men. Much can — and should! — be done to improve that, starting with a better understanding of what your partner needs to reliably get off. A good place to start is upgrading your go-to bedroom moves.
Take the missionary position, for example. You and your partner may count this classic sex position as a favorite because of the intimacy it provides, but sex therapists say one small tweak can take it from “good” to much, much better.
The “coital alignment technique,” aka CAT, is a modified version of missionary sex, where the man rides a little higher, sliding his body up an inch or two so that the base of the penis rubs against the woman’s clitoris.
Here’s a little visual aid:
In one study of women who were unable to orgasm from missionary sex, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, those who learned the CAT reported a 56 percent increase in their orgasm frequency.
CAT is a game-changer because most women need a little clitoral stimulation to get off, said Megan Fleming, a New York City-based psychologist and sex therapist. Penetration alone doesn’t always do the trick.
“Roughly two-thirds of women don’t have an orgasm with penetration alone,” Fleming told HuffPost. “CAT offers direct pressure and rocking and grinding that gives women additional clitoral stimulation.”
So how do you assume the position, so to speak?
Sadie Allison, a sexologist and author of Ride ’Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking, gave us a rundown:
Start in the traditional missionary position, she said, with a small pillow under the woman’s hips, to give her some lift and support the pelvis angle.
“After you gently slide inside, shift your body up several inches, positioning yourself so your pelvis is directly on top of hers,” she said. “You should be higher up on her now, with your chest near her shoulders versus face-to-face. With this new alignment, your penis shaft is now providing pleasurable friction against her vulva and clitoris with every stroke.”
To up the ante, put a little more work into grinding, Allison said.
“While staying snug and pressed against her, grind and gyrate your pelvis in small circles against her vulva,” she said. “Try visualizing her clitoris as you press on it, and resist the temptation to lift off and thrust in and out. Just keep your penis snugly inside her, and find the rhythm she needs. ”
“You’ll know it’s working when you feel her holding you tighter and pulling you closer with her legs!” she added.
There’s an extra bonus for guys, too, outside of providing partners with intense pleasure, said Lori Buckley, a sex therapist and author of 21 Decisions for Great Sex and A Happy Relationship.
“An extra benefit is that this may also help men last longer since they don’t experience the same heightened arousal that fast, deep thrusting provides,” Buckley said.
Win-win. Now go get busy.