First of all, let me say, I'm sorry you're facing the age-old question: 'is it worth it?'
It really sucks.
There's never a winner either way. You either have a broken heart or a shackled spirit. Your situation may seem bleak, but is not as unique as it may appear.
Thousands of couples go through exactly this predicament every year, my past-self included. To stay or not to stay? To go or not to go? Is the person I am with now, the person I will be with in the end? Since you didn't provide me specific details on your situation, I will do my best to help guide you along with some giant, sweeping truths that I know to be reliable, regardless of specifics.
Every relationship needs three things to survive: Humble Sacrifice, Genuine Cheer and Absolute Resolve.
Here are a few questions to help you think: Should your relationship survive or go extinct?
1. Do you KNOW you TRULY love them? KNOW and TRULY being the operative words here. If you question that, then you don't. If you aren't able to significantly invest in the relationship, it just can't grow into love. If you aren't really sure what love is, that's OK, because people love in different ways.
However, to me, this is love in it's purest sense - to do what is best for others, regardless of the cost to self. Which brings me to truth numero dos.
2. Is staying together what is BEST or what is WANTED? Don't get me wrong, what you want is super important ... but as humans, we tend to change what we "want" when our environment changes.
Is staying together bringing you closer to your life goals, such as graduating with good grades, having a memorable college experience and fully utilizing this slim-slice of true independence?
If you were to break up, your heart would recover. (Notice, no question mark after that sentence). It's just in our nature for survival purposes. If you stay, will that make you a better version of you? Is being together bringing you both joy or causing unnecessary stress or pain? Even if it is joyous, how long are you willing to live this way?
3. Have they INVESTED as much as you? My friend once said, "In every lasting relationship there's always one person who loves the other just a tad more." To have something last, the effort must total 201 percent; each person giving 100 percent - and someone takes the extra 1 percent of unexpected life happens.
Well, here's your unexpected. Is it almost equal or is one putting in the majority of the work?
Hope this helped. Only you know #whattodo - and this is about you. Not anyone else. My last tidbit is this: You are your biggest fan. Treat yourself like it!
If you have a question for Taze and would like it to be featured in next week's column, email it to editorial@flocku.com with the subject line: ASK TAZE.