Have you recently been experiencing unreasonable, violent or curmudgeony thoughts towards people who've done nothing wrong? This election cycle has taken its toll on everyone's immune system and its ability to fight off bullshit.
It's possible that you might have been exposed to Support for Trump's Unreal Policies Infecting the Dumb, or S.T.U.P.I.D.
Here are some symptoms and ways to identify if you're afflicted with S.T.U.P.I.D.:
Sore throat ... Are you repeatedly yelling "USA," "build that wall," or just at minorities in general?
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Fatigue ... Do you find yourself getting in an increasing number of violent, physical acts?
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Headache ... Did you recently attend a speech where the average syllable count of words hit over two?
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Increased mucus ... Are habitual lies being jammed down your gullet, perhaps requiring an increased production of mucus to lubricate said gullet?
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Confusion and dizziness ... Does your candidate say one thing, only to say the opposite not long after?
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Fever ... Does the idea of people who don't look like you being in your country burn you up?
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Bloodshot eyes or blindness ... Have you been spending an inordinate amount of time watching Obama birther conspiracy videos on YouTube?
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Sweats ... Are you worried someone's coming to get your guns? ... Because they are. Who? You know ... THEY.
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Once you know for sure that you have S.T.U.P.I.D., immediately consult your local librarian. Read up on unfamiliar cultures, people and lifestyles. A regular dose of this and you'll realize how similar we all are in no time!
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