When it comes to choosing men, especially online, are you looking for men who are "your type"?
Do you wink at them or favor them, hoping they will notice you and write you back? Are you so disappointed if they don't?
Who does contact you? Is it the men you don't want?
Who really is that quality man you imagine yourself being with?
Is he a good looking profile picture? Or is he a total package, a sum of everything he has to offer to your relationship?
Have you ever thought about questions like these when considering a man to date? This is a smart strategy anytime, but especially effective when you're in a dating rut, which is where it feels like you're dating the same guy over and over again in different clothes.
- Will he bring you soup when you're sick?
- Will he stop at the store and get you what you need, even if it is a bit out of the way?
- Will he bring you flowers and say, "I love you," even when it's not your birthday?
- Will he rearrange his schedule to drive you to the airport so you don't have to hoist that suitcase out of your car or worry about parking before your trip?
- When you've had a hard day, will he rub your back or bring you a glass of wine and give you a much-needed hug?
- Will he take your trash out to the curb so you don't have to?
- Will he get up and do the dishes after dinner?
- Most importantly, will he look in your eyes like you are the best thing that ever happened to him?
As we age, we are going to want more in a partner than just his looks and we will more than likely need more, especially in our golden years.
I watched my father take care of my mom as she was dying. He wiped her brow, took her to her chemo treatments, made her soup, and held her hand when she was scared.
My father is adorable -- just ask my friends -- but he would never have been the most handsome man on the block.
If he had been single and dating in the digital age, he probably would have been passed over by lots of women on dating sites.
Yet it's his kindness and the love he radiates from within that women of all ages adore about him once they get to know him.
I can't deny that looks are nice. They are.
But next time you are reading those online profiles and you are thinking, "Hmm, not so cute," before you move on to the next guy, dig a little deeper and pay attention to what that man is saying.
If he writes that he's kind, nice, loves his animals and his kids, he's worth checking out -- even if he's not the most handsome guy on the page. He's probably a man with a wonderful heart.
More importantly, his looks could very well grow on you. After getting to know him, he may be like my father is; adorable, loving and there for you through thick and thin.
That, ladies, is the true mark a quality man.
Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50's dating. Her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your free report, "5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man," visit www.findaqualityman.com.
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