Sleepaway camp is a summer ritual for many families. Often, parents hope to replicate the positive experience that they had at sleepaway camp when they were young.
Some kids are thrilled at the idea of being away from their immediate family members for a bit. Others are apprehensive. And, of course, many are a mix of both.
Here are a few things to consider as you decide whether this is the right summer to send your child to camp.
Is Your Child Ready For Sleepaway Camp?
Aviva Levine Jacobs is a psychologist and the director of camper care and staff wellness at Camp Ramah in California. She suggested parents begin by gauging their child’s enthusiasm: “When you bring up the topic, have they expressed an interest in going?”
A special interest, like horseback riding, might draw them to a particular program.
“There are so many options when it comes to the camping landscape that there are camps that can offer specific benefits to lots of different types of kids,” said Levine Jacobs.
Potential campers also need independent living skills ― such as bathing, getting dressed and navigating food choices ― in addition to a level of preparedness to sleep away from home.
“Ask the adults how your child does at sleepovers,” recommended Sarah Kirk, a former school counselor who worked primarily with elementary school-age children. If your child is not running into issues, it’s a good indication that they are ready to handle the overnight aspect of summer camp.
If they’re not ready yet ― even at an age when you were or their peers are ― respect that and reassess next year.
Kirk said a parent once expressed concern about their child not wanting to go to camp, wondering if this meant they wouldn’t want to leave for college one day.
She assured the parent, “It means that at 11 years old, that child was uncomfortable and uninterested in camp. That’s all.” She suggested gently talking through the child’s hesitations and then revisiting the topic the following year.
For certain kids, camp may offer an unprecedented sense of belonging. “There are camps for kids with diabetes, kids who have experienced the death of a loved one, kids with cancer, kids who have significant burns, kids who identify as LGBTQ+,” said Kirk.
These camps “give students a chance to meet and befriend those who have experienced similar hardships as them,” she said. “I have had students who meet lifelong friends at these camps. I strongly recommend these types of camps for students who have experiences or identities that are different from their peers in their school and community.”
There are also camps for Black or Jewish children, which can provide an affirming experience for your child, regardless of the makeup of their usual peer group. Single-sex camps for boys or girls can remove some of the social pressures that teens and tweens feel to perform or exude a certain image in front of the opposite sex. Directors of such programs say that campers in a single-sex environment are freer, sillier and more able to let down their guard.
How To Prepare Your Kid For Camp
Once you’ve decided to enroll them in camp, there are plenty of things you can do to help your child feel ready — and excited!
Kirk suggested that you talk to them about expectations for camp and some of the experiences they will have there. Encourage them to ask questions, both of you and of older kids who have been to sleepaway camp and can share their experiences.
You’ll want to follow the camp’s packing list carefully and double-check that you aren’t sending any prohibited items.
“Help them pack in a way that sets them up for success,” said Kirk. This might mean stashing outfits for each day in separate bags, for example, or rolled together.
Audrey Monke, author of the book “Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults,” described the rolling method this way: “Simply lay out a t-shirt and shorts, place underwear and socks in the middle, and wrap the whole outfit like a burrito.” She explained this makes it easier to fit more items in their luggage, and as an added bonus “makes it much more likely that your camper will actually change their underwear!”
You can stick an encouraging note into your child’s suitcase before they go, or write them a series of letters that they can open throughout their time at camp. Kirk suggested that these remain upbeat and that you “avoid being too emotional” so as not to trigger your child.
Missteps Parents Make — And How To Avoid Them
Before paying the deposit, you’ll want to make sure that your child is ready to be away from home and has an interest in attending this particular camp.
For your part, remember that less is more. This experience is about your child gaining independence, so the less you insert yourself, the better.
Kirk said parents sometimes allow “their children to see their intense worry and anxiety prior to camp.” This can compound any anxiety they may already be feeling. “Our kids feed off of our anxieties and fears,” she explained.
Levine Jacobs warned against making any kind of an agreement involving early pickup.
“Sometimes parents will make a deal with a child that if they make it to a week and are unhappy, the parent will pick them up. Kids will hold parents to the word even if they’ve acclimated and are having fun by the third day,” she said.
Instead, she encouraged parents to “send the message to your child that you believe they are ready for this experience and discuss all the ways they can get support while at camp and you’ll see them at the end of the program.”
Another big no is “over-communicating with the children while they are at camp,” which Kirk said “can initiate big feelings for children who otherwise might have been fine.”
The Advantages Of A Sleepaway Camp Experience
“Autonomy and independence skills” are at the top of the list, said Steve Sharp, a school counselor in Pennsylvania. Camp is the place to practice — for real, without the safety net of parents — all of the social-emotional skills that you and their teachers have worked so hard to instill.
The range of activities summer camps offer generally foster “communication, collaboration, critical thinking and problem-solving skills,” Sharp explained.
Some activities will allow kids to “practice healthy risk-taking such as a ropes course challenge, camping out, or waterfront activities,” said Levine Jacobs.
“These opportunities help kids build new skills that instill confidence and they also allow kids to fail safely, to not get it right the first time, yet try again with encouragement from camp staff and peers,” she continued.
The impact of all this extends well beyond the summer. “Kids return from camp with more adept social skills, a sense of independence and increased self-esteem,” said Levine Jacobs.
Every camper begins with a fresh start, away from any baggage they may carry at school, either socially or academically. Kids who struggle in school may shine in activities like archery and canoeing. Having a group of camp friends can also provide a buffer against bullying. Even if friends at school start excluding them, they’ll have the social connections they made at camp to fall back on.
“We see friendships formed at camp that span decades, we see leaders in the community reflect on the leadership skills they gained at camp,” said Levine Jacobs.
Of course, each camp has its focus and specific benefits for your child. Kirk recommended doing your research about a particular camp. “Most camps have extensive resources for caregivers,” she said.
There are also few places these days where kids can experience a real digital detox, unplugging from their devices to focus on the here and now and connect with the natural world. Phones and tablets are generally contraband in the cabins, meaning that kids have the chance to stretch themselves and find new ways to relate to their peers.
And while it’s not reason number one — your top priority remains your child — it’s also not a bad thing for parents to get a break from the grind of child care. You might use that time to nurture your romantic relationship, reconnect with friends or take on that sewing/gardening project you’ve been wanting to get to.
“It’s a gift for parents too,” said Levine Jacobs.