Slideshow: Stop "The Posh"!

Dear People Planning To Cut Their Hair:

Don't even think about it. Seriously. Take that thought... and let it go. Under no circumstances should you get "The Posh." Here's why:

A. It's the Now version of "The Rachel." You know how that hair now reminds you of thigh-highs and baby doll dresses? That song "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and Lisa Loeb's glasses? Well, one day you'll look at pictures of "The Posh" and be reminded of Guantanamo, Katrina and President George W. Bush. Do you want that? We didn't think so.

B. Were you to get the haircut, zombie-faced wives/prisoners would start flocking to you for fashion advice. Also maybe a mercy killing. Also maybe to convert you to Scientology.

C. You'd be mimicking Posh Spice. POSH SPICE, PEOPLE!

Just to lay out our case, here are some celebrities who have fallen victim to "The Posh," in major ways. Don't let this happen to you or your loved ones!

Sincerely, Living Now