The first thing one typically notices when you visit Fox News TV listings page is the tragic overuse of the exclamation point. Bret Baier, for example, will have "Historic events, all-important decisions that could change it all!" The listing for Hannity reads: "The president says the economy will endure...but will Wall Street buy into Barack Obama's plan? Hannity reacts!" Surely the mere fact that Sean Hannity has a forthcoming "reaction" to something isn't so surprising it needs to be exclaimed.
But follow the hype for tonight's O'Reilly Factor:
"TAT-TOO SEXY? Why did Sports Illustrated airbrush Indy star Danica Patrick's "racy" ink off? Dennis Miller reacts!"
Huh! Just spitballing, here: but maybe they brushed off the tattoo because...I don't know...someone wanted to sell some swimsuits or something? I know, I know, it can be so hard to parse the socio-linguistic nuances of the Sports Illustrated swinsuit issue. Where's Marshall McLuhan when you need him?
Actually, the tease here probably indicates that it's safe to predict two things. One, Bill O'Reilly's going to crank up some of that ol' FOX NEWS PORN. Also, O'Reilly will probably give SI the "pinhead or patriot" treatment because the tattoo that was removed was an American flag. Keep in mind that the tattoo is a TRAMP STAMP. Do I need to spell this out for you? What word is Wonkette most closely associated with?
Actually, the real X-Factor is trying to get your head around Dennis Miller's forthcoming reaction. Surely it will build for MAXIMUM SARDONICA. It better, seeing as he's had two weeks to work on it. Oh! Did we mention that this was a two week old story? Nothing else important happened in the last 24 hours?