“Saturday Night Live” tackled the final hearing of the House Jan. 6 committee in its cold open, featuring tough-as-nails Rep. Liz Cheney (Heidi Gardner), goofy Sen. Chuck Schumer (Sarah Sherman) desperately calling DoorDash about mustard the day of the Capitol insurrection, and James Austin Johnson’s Donald Trump flopping around in a word mush.
“Whether you’re a Republican who’s not watching or a Democrat who’s nodding so hard your head is falling off, one person is responsible for this insurrection: Donald Trump. And one person will suffer the consequences: me,” said Gardner’s Cheney.
But she can handle it because she was raised by her notorious dad Dick Cheney, who taught her how to “shoot a deer in the face.” She’s been channeling “big Dick Cheney” energy ever since.
Who tried to save the day on Jan. 6? Wide-eyed Nancy Pelosi (Chloe Fineman) and Schumer, who demanded in the alternative universe of “SNL” that DoorDash come through with the lunch orders somewhere in the Capitol even though lawmakers under siege were forced to change the delivery spot.
Then here was “Trump,” sitting on the toilet the day before the election.
“You know the votes don’t matter. I’ve always said that the votes don’t matter at all. Because what even is a vote? It’s just a piece of paper you fold up and put it in a hat, a guy shakes it around,” he explained.
“Trump” suddenly claimed fictional character Apollo Creed from the “Rocky” franchise “is a very close friend of mine. We talk on the phone every day. ... He should never have died in that ring. ... Where’s the Obamacare?”
Kenan Thompson’s Rep. Bennie Thompson concluded: “We tried. It was a fun country while it lasted.”