That’s what Sens. Mitch McConnell (Beck Bennett), Susan Collins (Cecily Strong) and Lindsey Graham (Kate McKinnon) told Chuck Todd (Kyle Mooney) as he threw up the worst hypotheticals he could imagine on a mock “Meet the Press.”
What’s the secret to the GOP rock-solid support for Trump? What they can get out of him — most perfectly explained by McKinnon’s dead-on Graham, who called Trump a “business Jesus.”
“I am a man of convictions and principles,” said McKinnon. “Unless you can help me, and then it’s, New Lindsey, who dis?”
Told he would “still get those tax cuts” if Trump became a Louis Farrakhan Nation of Islam follower, McKinnon’s Graham responded: “Well, then, I guess it’s ‘salaam alaikum,’ brother president.”
What if Trump “open-hand slapped you in the face? What would you say then?” asked “Todd.”
“Harder, daddy,” said a glazed-eyed McKinnon.
Asked if Trump declared that life begins “not at conception, but erection,” Strong’s Collins said, “That would be the most outrageous, ridiculous thing that I’d ever end up definitely voting for.”
McConnell succinctly explained: “Who are we kidding? We’ll always be ride-or-die bitches.”
Check out the video up top.