It took Krakow, Poland to turn me into an Ugly American - no easy feat given that I've lived in many countries, and traveled to at least 20 more in the past 10 years. On the other hand, perhaps it wasn't the town that should be blamed as much as the circumstances. I decided to take my elderly parents and my sixteen year old daughter on this trip. It made sense at the time. My dad's ancestors left Krakow in the late 1880s to start a new life in America so it would be a sort of pilgrimage for my folks. And my daughter had a strong interest in visiting Auschwitz so it would be a history lesson for her. Me? I am always eager to add a new stamp to my passport though, in this case, Poland never imprinted itself on the document.
My parents are well-traveled people in their own right. My dad was Air Force JAG long before it became a TV show and was stationed in Asia, Canada and Europe during my childhood years. Since his retirement, my parents have enjoyed trips to the South Pacific, Australia and New Zealand, among other places. But they had not traveled since the increasingly restrictive days of 9/11. They are also - how to put this kindly? - hard of hearing. My dad's new uber hearing aids work well at times, but not so well at others. My mom is deaf in one ear, but I can never seem to recall which one. My daughter - who can hear me whisper to a friend in another county - turned her iPod on as we left for the Washington, DC airport and didn't appear to turn it off until our return.
So there we were - four people - and one set of functioning ears. In Krakow. Using something called a zloty to buy things. What choice did I have but to speak VERY LOUDLY?? Many Poles speak English and so I can only assume they were cringing as I bellowed, "OKAY EVERYONE, HERE'S A PUBLIC TOILET." Or, "THE JEWISH QUARTER IS SO LOVELY. WHAT A SHAME THAT ALL THE RESIDENTS WERE KILLED." Yes, definitely entering Ugly American territory. Sometimes I even had to repeat myself several times for the benefit of my family and the Polish people who needed another reason to loathe Americans: "CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW MUCH THE CURRENCY HERE HAS BEEN DEVALUED?"
We're safely home now. I believe my daughter has finally had to turn off her iPod in order to recharge it. My parents have retreated to their own house nearby where the TV is turned way up and they can communicate in sign language or written notes or telepathically or however they do it when no one else is around. I'm taking a vow of silence for a few days as I comb The Washington Post for any news of increasingly strained US-Polish relations last week. And I offer my heartfelt apologies to the good Polish people who heard me yell, "I THINK IT'S MADE FROM A COW!" last Tuesday to my daughter.
As we flew out of Krakow the day before Easter, I realized that immigrations agents hadn't stamped our passports either when we entered or left Poland. An oversight perhaps. Or maybe intentional so we can all begin the healing process...