Social media can be terrible and exhausting - The constant Candy Crush invites, the endless #foodporn contrasting with gym #progress selfies, and relationship status updates. But there are times when social media can truly be a beautiful thing. Social media can keep us in the know, it can help us network. And for me, social media saved my life.
I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma (a blood cancer that attacks the immune system) on May 19th, 2015. I was 21, living in Los Angeles, across the country from my family. On the day I was diagnosed, aside from getting pretty belligerent, I decided that I would video blog my entire journey with cancer. Keep in mind, it was so early on that I had no idea what to expect or what my treatment would be like. I didn't know what stage the cancer was or what subtype of Hodgkin's it was. Hell, I didn't even know there were subtypes. And I sure as hell didn't think that social media would be a way for me to physically and mentally conquer this beast.
After meeting with an oncologist in Florida to plan for the next eight months, I officially decided to go public with my videos and share my story through Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and my new found love, YouTube. I just wanted to put myself out there, anywhere and everywhere. It's the cyber alternative to running around your neighbourhood, screaming at the top of your lungs.
With vlogging, I shared my treatment. My chemos. My side effects. The ups and the downs. The laughs and the cries. It's all there, laid out for the entire connected world to see.
Social media benefited my life during and after cancer in so many ways. Here are five different ways that social media saved me.
1. Social media was my therapy
I do a lot of journaling, self reflecting and meditating. With social media, I shared and posted what I was feeling with people who were going through the same thing. I shared it with people who did not understand what I was feeling, but wanted to. I was able to vent and cry to my camera without caring about what I was saying out loud because my camera would just listen and hear what I have to say in a safe place free of judgement. I was able to talk things out with myself by releasing these feelings into the universe, and remind myself, and my viewers, that everything is going to be okay. "Everything is going to be okay" was a term I coined together from the first day of my vlogging experience. I am a firm believer in positivity and putting positive vibes out in the universe in order to get positive vibes back. Positive affirmations are a big part of what helped me stay hopeful for myself, my family and my viewers.
2. Social media validated my feelings
In a time of my life where I wasn't sure what to feel, social media helped me in knowing that whatever I was feeling was "normal". I was able to connect with hundreds of fellow cancer patients and survivors through Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook support groups. When you are first diagnosed with Cancer, or go through any adversity for that matter, you probably do not know what you should be feeling. By connecting with other humans going through a similar life event, we were able to share our feelings and see that what we were feeling is not just in our heads. A few weeks back I got a text from a fellow survivor, who had found me on instagram, saying that she needed someone to speak to someone who understands what she was going through. I am currently struggling with the transition of my cancer life to life after cancer, so I posted a video about it. She had seen my video and felt the same exact way as I did. It was a breath of fresh air for both of us to be able to relate on such a deep level that isn't shown on our surface. There have been countless times where I would post a video expressing how I felt a certain way, and a viewer would reach out to tell me that they were feeling the same exact thing.
3. Social media made me friends. Yay friends!
One of my biggest take-aways that I say to all the new cancer patients I meet is "welcome to the worst club ever with the best members". This was told to me by a friend's mom who had also been inducted into this club a few years prior. When I was first diagnosed my friend told me to check out a blog on Tumblr called #SammiStrong. Sammi is a young adult in her twenties that was diagnosed with the same cancer as me and also wanted to share her journey. I messaged her when I started my video blog and it was happily ever after from there. We called each other "cancer friends" now I call her my "best friend". There is something about having a connection with someone that comes from such a deep part of yourself. Sammi and I connected instantly when we met for brunch (no mimosas this time) while we were still going through treatment and would text daily, encourage each other through each treatment and vent to each other about our boy problems. Our relationship is one I'll always be grateful for. My "cancer friends" turned into my best friends.
4. Social media helped me help strangers
Probably the most rewarding part of this whole process and easily the most meaningful post-cancer benefit of social media is that I have helped other people. Social media doesn't have to be a place where we share our selfies for self validation and likes. It can be a beautiful place where we connect with people and help them become their best self. Through my presence on social media, I have gotten a plethora of messages from people across the world telling me that my videos helped them get through their struggle. I was able to show them what to expect, validate their feelings, and show support to them and their family on how to overcome adversity with positivity.
5. Social media helped me update my friends and family from around the world
The first idea I had for my vlog was to use it as a way to update friends and family all over the globe. If you've ever had a life changing event in your life, I'm sure you know the amount of texts and calls you receive daily for updates. I did not have the energy to constantly answer questions. I anticipated not having the energy. With one post, I was able to share my diagnosis. Following this, I updated my facebook friends and gofundme donors with the videos I was making for my vlogs. I was able to answer questions like "how are you feeling after this round?" or "what is chemo like?" And the best "can you have sex on chemo?". The answers, by the way, are I don't feel well. Chemo feels like a constant hangover and you sure as hell can, but you probably won't want to.
Sometimes I question if whether making this public on social media was the best decision or not and sometimes I have different answers to that question. In all, posting my experience with Cancer was almost as life changing as having cancer. Life can seem altered on social media sometimes but thankfully I was able to use it to show what this life, the cancer life, is really like. I was always a pretty positive person but having a voice and being able to emphasize the power of positivity to thousands of people that I don't even know has changed me. I wanted to be a special education teacher before I was diagnosed but now I want to dedicate my life to spreading positivity through my story telling. I hope to continue sharing my story to help and inspire other people that are facing life struggles. Or just putting a smile on the people of the internet's, aka my Sunflower's, faces. Whatever works.