I speak with women everyday who tell me they don't want to give up who they are for a man.
The funny thing is, men would never even think of giving up who they are for a relationship.
Neither should you.
However, there are three things you should give up on if you want a successful relationship.
Give up your self-defeating attitude
Exactly what does this mean? Let's use your arms as an example... Unless you're pumping some serious weights on a regular basis, the shape of your arm is probably not ideal.
If you don't like the way your arms look, instead of focusing on them as flawed, tell yourself something like this, "I am so grateful for my arms because I'll be able to hug that wonderful man who is coming into my life who will love me just as I am."
I'll fill you in on a little secret... men don't pick you apart like you do to yourself. If they are attracted to you (and men are attracted to all types of women) then they have the ability to love the whole you and accept you just as beautiful as you are.
How many times a day do you look in the mirror and criticize yourself, saying things like, "My butt looks too big in these pants," "I should really lose ten pounds," or "My neck is awful?"
I want you to know that doing this to yourself every single day -- dozens of times a day -- takes a toll on your psyche. You start believing the story you are telling yourself about how flawed you are, instead of how truly awesome you are as a woman.
Try shifting this way of thinking by looking in your bathroom mirror every morning while telling yourself everything you either love about you or are grateful for about you in your life.
The real question is... can you? When you finish reading this, go make a list of ten things you love about you. Then go look in the mirror on a daily basis and remind yourself of how wonderful you really are.
Give up your limiting beliefs about available men.
Most women believe what makes a quality man is his ability to swoop her off her feet, wine and dine her at the best restaurants around town and give her presents and a very wealthy lifestyle.
Now, I want to share a secret with you. Money does not make a quality man. How a man treats you and how you feel around a man is far more important.
I have a former client who is very successful professionally, and she found herself madly in love with a man who is a male nurse. They have an amazing relationship and she feels she got the best guy in the world because he makes her feel absolutely loved, cherished and adored. Note those feelings have nothing to do with money or the fact that she out-earns him.
Yet many professional women would have turned their noses up over this man, declaring anyone other than a doctor, lawyer or executive wouldn't qualify as a quality man in their eyes.
Lots of men are online who are good men and want nothing more than to make you happy. The guy with the belly might make the greatest husband in the world. You just have to give them a chance.
Give up your closed heart so you can have the relationship you really want.
You probably want a quality man in your life so you no longer have to feel so alone anymore. Right? I get this. And intellectually, you can probably even visualize yourself with a man in your life.
Yet is your heart really open to allowing a great man to walk into your life?
One of the scariest times for my private clients is when it's time to date. I've seen women who told me they desperately wanted a man in their life and suddenly want to quit dating. Why?
Because letting someone into your heart is scary. You've probably been hurt in the past when it comes to love and it didn't feel very good, did it? So what do you do? You protect your heart, using excuses like I'm too busy to date or there are no good men to date and the list goes on.
Sometimes we can't even see how we are sabotaging our love life. I've spoken with women who tell me they've been on five dates and they couldn't find Mr. Right so they are ready to QUIT. It takes a lot of work to find the right man for you.
If you think he will show up on your first try, you're kidding yourself. This is why it's so important to have a support system in place to motivate you when the going gets tough. You want to have every dating tool and skill available to you in your dating tool box so you can keep moving forward.
So to summarize, start loving you so a man can love you. See the possibilities and the abundance of men who are out there to date you. And open your heart so love can come to you.
What have been your experiences? Share with me below in the comments.
Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50's dating. She's the best-selling author of The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50 and her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your FREE Report, "5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man," visit www.findaqualityman.com.