Almost two weeks ago I set off on a fun adventure to California and I had planned to be gone a full week. I have lived all over the world, from Cairo to Singapore to a six-month stay in India and so on, but ever since I got my beloved pup Bella it has been a great excuse for me to never leave Manhattan and put her needs before mine, always. Wanting to always be the best and most divine version of myself at all times, I have been feeling like this conversation around not being able to leave her needs to shift. It has been a challenge to face whatever fears come up -- after all, she's only 2.2 pounds and therefore incredibly fragile -- but I have been super committed to face them and fly off to wherever I might be called to go. Considering that I have some good friends, family and even career opportunities in California, that just seemed like the perfect fit. After all, I was only going to be gone for one week, what could go wrong?
What unraveled around this adventure was really not anything I ever expected and while I choose to keep some of the details personal, I will tell you that Bella ended up in the emergency room three times within three days, and I had to fly home. Although I had four incredibly important meetings that would have really positively impacted my career and a week's worth of love fests with my closest family and friends, which my soul craved, I had to let my motherly instincts take over and go home to take care of my baby Bella. After all, Bella hadn't been to the emergency room or even had an emergency vet appointment in almost three years, so this was a big deal for her and for me. If you're not a dog person this might be hard for you to understand, but Bella is like my child and learning how to keep her safe and healthy is one of the greatest lessons and pleasures in my life.
In the midst of all of the health stuff going on with Bella, I got hit with my own health "stuff" and was in severe pain for the entire week I was taking care of her, due to a cyst I had developed. It was one of those weeks where I would look up and go "Really, God... are you serious?!" I felt like I would wake up every morning and hit the reset button, trying to reset my upset, trying to reset any negative thoughts with affirmations and trying so hard to reset my anger to a place of love. Yes, beauties, I am a human being. So when things start to fall apart in a way that feels like more than one person can handle, even though I know God only gives me what I can handle, I sometimes get upset. Gasp!
There are honestly a number of twists and turns to this story, but the biggest lesson I learned was to pay attention to the signs. Sounds obvious, right? Well you would think so. You see, I had been going against the grain with what my spirit and even my body has really needed for the past few months, and I was in my own head so much, instead of embracing spirit, that I didn't even realize it until my dog was in the hospital and I was in severe pain. Ever since I wrapped the first season of my show back in February, I have been anticipating the "next big thing" and have been ready to network my tail off. After all, I just filmed 39 episodes of my very own talk show, I should be running around and working, pushing, doing more. However, every time I have made plans to do that over the last several months -- something or someone has always gotten in the way and forced me to slow down. By the end of the week, after Bella had gone through teeth surgery and had all of her little teeth removed and my cyst had become increasingly painful, I decided it might be a good time to try and surrender.
When I was finally able to do that, the message I heard inside of me was very clear. "Nitika, you need to rest." As soon as I heard this, I began to weep. I have been working, thinking, doing and more over extreme emotional and physical exhaustion because, well, I live in New York City -- the land of type-A individuals who get things done -- and I myself had been working two full-time jobs until this past January plus just finished filming an entire show! What I uncovered was this total belief that I had to be highly active in order to be okay with what I was doing in the world. That if I didn't wake up slightly stressed by all the meetings and deadlines I had on my plate for the day, I wasn't doing enough to make a difference. As I share this you beauties, it feels and sounds completely nuts, but I know so many people who have the same deep-rooted beliefs and I declare that it is time to let that go.
I know some of you might be thinking that letting this over-active way of living go is easier said than done, but I want to invite you to think about something this week. How would you feel spiritually, emotionally and physically if you allowed yourself to fully exhale, release the tension in your daily life, and instead of cramming in more work during those pockets of time throughout your day, slide in some time to connect with yourself? I invite you to do this now, willingly -- you deserve it and I can almost guarantee you that your soul is craving it.
Leave me a comment below and please share how you have either experienced a halt in your life when you needed to slow down but weren't following the signs, or ask for support on how you can incorporate some of these practices in to your life when it seems virtually impossible. Sending you so much love and I look forward to reading all of your comments!
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