THE BLOG

Spiritual Sex: Rebalancing the Masculine and Feminine

10/01/2014 12:39pm ET | Updated November 30, 2014
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Last week was the Fall Equinox, and on the 22nd of September the sun crossed the equator from the Northern to the Southern Hemisphere. Only twice yearly do we see this equality of light and dark, and as always the theme of balance surfaces for me.

We are in a time of re-balancing the energy of the masculine and feminine on this planet. The awareness of the Divine Feminine is returning to consciousness and we need new narratives that allow women's self perception to include a connection to the Sacred Feminine within. My particular search in the last two decades is to find pathways for new meaning regarding sexuality; especially promoting narratives for women to feel central to their own sexual stories. It is my sense that western psychology models are not healing women because of their inherently flawed judgments about the meaning of the feminine.

There is a relational split between men and women, especially around sexuality, that has existed since patriarchy prevailed over the more collaborative cultures and this split seems to be widening. We are struggling in Western Culture under a distinctly phallocentric, performance based model of sexuality which has increasingly polarized sex because of the prevalence of porn imagery promoting this particularly narrow point of view. I have seen many cases of men who have habituated to this adrenaline pumping, increasingly novel imagery which has limited them from connecting to a partner in a loving and mutually fulfilling sexual relationship.

The rebalancing that we need is the opposite of the adrenaline/ novelty/variety and phallocentric approach to sexuality. I have called it the Pleasure Model and it incorporates wisdom from Sacred Sexuality traditions in ancient and indigenous cultures around the world. Some of these approaches are re-emerging in the West, much of it taught by women or couples, who are promoting deep relational connection rather than performance. Many of these teachers are reframing sexuality as energy which connects us to spirit.

I have discovered that Shamanic practices are capable of profoundly shifting our perspectives. There are three strong reasons for this: first, because with these practices, there is no dogma and no external authority, we are the creators of our own story; second, because the intention is to offer tools to create personal stories that are more in harmony with the self; and third, because the meaning making we create comes from a direct encounter with the self in a safe setting. With regard to sexuality, it can move us out of the cultural box and into a deeply loving place.

I have created a site which describes a weekend intensive that has grown out of this intersection of Shamanic practices and the expanded view of sexuality. Please take a look.