SPORTS

This Video Points Out The Absurdity Of Yelling At College Athletes

"I want you to look into a reflection and notice how old you are."

There’s always that one fan in the stands or at the watch party. You know the one -- that woman who spends more time yelling at the bench than watching the game, that man who seems convinced that the 18-year-old point guard on the court has ruined his life forever.

For whatever reason, college sports seem to bring out the worst in many should-be-grownups who lose all sense of social propriety as they scream at the flat-screen in front of them.

Sports comedy site “The Kicker” understands the pain of all of us who have ever had to sit near this kind of fan. On Thursday, it made fun of those diehard alums in its new spoof, which focused on the the disorder SGAAYACK, or Seasonal Grown-Ass Adults Yelling At College Kids Disorder. 

The symptoms are familiar. When their favorite college teams take the floor, those suffering from SGAAYACK find themselves:

  • “Yelling at college kids on the TV screen like a goddamn madman.”
  • “[Experiencing] mood swings based on the actions of strangers who can’t even legally drink.”
  • “Openly hating specific student-athletes [they’ve] never even met."

Not to worry, overly enthusiastic, bordering-on-abrasive friend! The SGAAYACK hotline boasts of trained operators that can help you start “acting like a goddamn grown-up again.” But that probably means you’re going to need to lower your voice, step away from the TV screen and take a long, deep breath. Please.

So brace yourselves, college hoops fans: With NCAA basketball tipping off last week, SGAAYACK’s full force is about to hit us again. Call 1-800-CHILLTHEF***OUT to get the help every adult with a painted face, foam finger or thunderstick needs.

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