Sports Illustrated's American Pharoah Cover Photo Epitomizes Everything Wrong With Modern Society

This problem is not SI. The problem is all of us.


You did it. You somehow got inside Belmont Park to witness American Pharoah try and grab the first Triple Crown in horse racing since 1978. How much money did you blow on today? You’re a little ashamed to admit the answer to that one, aren’t you? But never mind all that, because you are here. For history. This is the rare moment you will remember forever. A moment you will tell your grandchildren about 50 years from now. American Pharoah is about to be the biggest story in the country, and you will be here to soak it all in. Life hasn't always been wonderful to you, has it? But for now let's forget all that. Because you are here. At Belmont. Living in the now. It’s all so wonderful, so life-affirming, so…. OH SHIT, IS THAT THE HORSE? GET MY PHONE. WAIT, I CAN’T SEE IF THIS IS A GOOD ANGLE. SHOULD I DO VERTICAL ANGLE OR... WHAT? IT’S OVER!? DAMMIT.

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