Turns out, marriage is a surprisingly universal experience.
Don’t believe us? Below, we’ve compiled 21 hilarious tweets that husbands and wives will no doubt relate to.
Me: "Do that thing I like."
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) March 6, 2017
Husband: *orders pizza*
Me: [bursts into wife's meeting] BABE, IT HAPPENED!
— Dave (@T_N_Crumpets) May 20, 2016
Wife: Dave, I'm at wo-
Me: I paid for 6 [empties chicken nuggets on table] I got 7
I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again.
— Jackie Bouvier (@jackiembouvier) January 24, 2016
90% of being married is just shouting "what" from other rooms
— k e e t 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) November 4, 2016
Just living that thug life, I whispered to myself while folding my wife's laundry.
— Rock🇺🇸 (@TheMichaelRock) March 8, 2017
ME: *breathlessly bursts through front door* quick honey, cancel our weekend plans!
— The Hype, Inc. (@TheHyyyype) March 9, 2017
WIFE [startled]: omg why?!
ME: cuz they're fuckin lame
First comes love
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) March 11, 2017
Then comes marriage
Then comes getting pissed off when they fall asleep during every single movie you watch together wtf
Me: Let me give you a kiss before you go.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) March 10, 2017
Wife: I just ate tuna.
Me: [waves goodbye from across street]
*rips off tearaway pants revealing another more socially acceptable pair of tearaway pants*
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) March 11, 2017
WIFE: still no
[Friday night]
— Leah Loves (@leahlovescheez) March 11, 2017
Husband: how about I run to the store for some snacks?
Me: good god I love you
I love that cute married thing we do where we invite friends over to "be social" but then immediately regret that decision.
— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 1, 2017
Me: What do you think of these curtains?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 14, 2017
Husband: I don't like them.
Me: ok. *orders them*
Losing my wife 3 times in the grocery store and having her paged by customer service each time is why I get to stay home while she shops now
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 15, 2017
My wife leaned a picture against the wall and asked me to hang it when I have time so I guess it's going to sit there til August.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 2, 2017
50% of being married to me is just listening to me say I'm cold, but in various locations.
— stabbatha christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) December 5, 2015
Me: I want a houseplant
— Obadiah (@ThaJawn) January 12, 2016
Wife: Ok but you have to take care of it
*few weeks later*
Wife: Your houseplant died
Me: What houseplant
Saturday night! Gonna P.A.R.T.Y. right after I spend 4 hrs in Target sending my husband pics of lightbulbs to make sure I got the right ones
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 25, 2017
Yeah yeah fitted sheets blah blah blah. Try folding this thing my wife wears that either has six sleeves or none at all, I have no idea
— Jeff Newton (@yonewt) March 5, 2017
My husband said that I am a terrible listener and a bunch of other stuff.
— SHANtilly Lace (@theshantilly) March 1, 2015
Watching out the window for husband to get home with my wine & this is the adult version of waiting for the ice cream truck
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 10, 2017
WIFE: What are you doing?
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 25, 2017
ME: IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
WIFE: You're teaching the dog karate?
ME: Then it's exactly what it looks like.
Before You Go
