It’s officially spring, which means longer days, changing temperatures and, of course, spring cleaning.
While cleaning out your house may seem like a gargantuan task, many funny folks on Twitter have proven that the annual tradition is rife with opportunities for humor.
Below find 40 hilarious tweets about spring cleaning ― and cleaning all year round.
Did a bunch of spring cleaning and now I’m the proud new owner of another box of random cords.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 15, 2018
[cleaning out our bedroom]
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 4, 2018
Me: Half of this stuff is junk we don't need.
Wife: The other half is mine.
"Who said your 40s aren't full of magic," I say to myself as I stand in the cleaning aisle swooning over sponges that are in my favorite color.
— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) April 23, 2018
Fantasia gave me unrealistic expectations of how much cleaning a bucket and mop would be motivated to do.
— A Very TheAlexNevil Christmas (@TheAlexNevil) March 29, 2018
*burns down house*
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) July 5, 2017
*checks spring cleaning off list*
Come on in; excuse the mess, as I pretend that I didn’t spend an hour rage-cleaning just to get it to the point where I could pretend THIS is “messy”.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 6, 2018
RT if you’re pumped to do some Spring Cleaning followed by a little Spring “Fuck It, No One Ever Looks In This Closet”-ing.
— The Dad (@thedad) March 16, 2018
Just got done with a deep cleaning of my kitchen so no one will be eating, drinking or even standing in here for the next 10 years.
— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) August 18, 2018
After doing some spring cleaning, I now have 3 plastic bins in my house labeled "horse shit" so I'm ready to be on Hoarders like whenever.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 9, 2014
Simplify your spring cleaning by throwing everything out the window.
— Annekinns (@Annekinns) April 1, 2015
I don’t believe in the devil, but after cleaning out the shower drain, I know for certain that evil is real.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) January 28, 2018
Whenever I'm done cleaning the kitchen I sing this really cool song to my family called "no one's allowed in the mother fucking kitchen until tomorrow song."
— Jiffy VVild (@jiffywild) March 1, 2018
I hate cleaning so much that were I to commit murder inside my house, I'd turn myself in just so to avoid cleaning that shit up.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) June 17, 2017
"Do what you're supposed to or no dessert!"
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) March 6, 2017
-Me talking myself into cleaning the house
*rents U-Haul*
— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) July 22, 2018
Neighbor: I didn’t know you were moving!
Me: Oh, we’re not. Just cleaning underneath our son’s bed.
CLEANING
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 26, 2017
[at my own house]
That bread tie could come in handy, keep it
[at someone else's house]
*holds up family heirloom*
So...Toss Pile?
Me: *finishes cleaning*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 4, 2017
Wife: You missed a spot.
Me: Where?
Wife: *motions to the entire house*
I wish I spent as much energy cleaning my house as I do worrying about people unexpectedly stopping by and seeing my dirty house.
— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) July 25, 2017
I'm cleaning out the basement if anyone needs a mint condition box and user manual for a cordless phone I haven't had in 10 years.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 9, 2018
I was cleaning and accidentally broke a bottle of wine.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 15, 2017
I learned my lesson.
It's better to live in filth.
Spring cleaning: When we throw out family heirlooms, but keep 36 different kinds of tea
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 8, 2018
Did a little spring cleaning today. If anyone's missing a matchbox car, I apologize. Apparently I had every one ever made in my car.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 21, 2014
I’m pretty certain my husband picked a fight with me so that I would start rage cleaning.
— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) May 31, 2018
Sunday is the day I set aside for cleaning the house.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) September 30, 2018
But it seems I’ve missed the last 14 or so Sundays so this may take a minute.
House cleaning tip:
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 23, 2017
Mindlessly shove everything in random drawers.
Anyone who wants to say “Sunday Funday” to me while I’m doing 80 loads of laundry & cleaning mess after mess, I dare you to come at me.
— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) September 16, 2018
If you find me cleaning my apartment the odds are about 70% it's because I think I might have sex that night.
— Jess (@jessicaesquire) September 12, 2018
The trick to spring cleaning is to keep moving things to different rooms until your wife gets tired and gives up.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 8, 2018
I started my Spring cleaning by moving my kids to their new home outside.
— Sara (@sara_ashlynn) March 14, 2015
Spring cleaning has been rescheduled for Summer. Because I said so.
— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) May 3, 2018
I've been spring cleaning for 15 years.
— The Next Martha (@TheNextMartha) March 23, 2018
When you finish cleaning a room and then remember that your house has like a dozen other rooms pic.twitter.com/IuEUbDGf4V
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) March 31, 2017
[SPRING CLEANING]
— Ash (an female) ⚪️ (@adult_mom) March 31, 2018
Kid: what’s in this box?
Husband: that’s mom’s degree
Kid: so... garbage pile?
Husband: lol
Kid: lol
Me: lol
My College Professor, somehow: lol
Cleaning the house after drinking a pitcher of mimosas is a fun way to make simple household tasks more challenging.
— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) April 8, 2018
*dusts the carpet*
5 mins cleaning, 1 hr playing on phone. 5 mins cleaning, 1 hr playing on phone. 20 min speed-clean, tell husband that I cleaned all day.
— Valerie 🎄🤶🏻 (@ValeeGrrl) April 17, 2017
Never know what you'll find spring cleaning pic.twitter.com/IAfl8p8Ypp
— kim beans (@KimmyMonte) May 25, 2017
Wife: I know you want to exercise Saturday so I’m taking our son to the Aquarium.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) May 22, 2018
Me: Thanks.
Wife: Probably the best exercise would be cleaning out our storage.
The key to spring cleaning is to put your stuff at the top of all the piles so it looks like your are throwing a lot of stuff away.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 8, 2018
Told Hubs I was cleaning the garage. Did 5 mins of busy work until he came out to "help." Now I'm watching him clean the garage.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) April 2, 2017
Easy.
My version of spring cleaning is moving.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) April 17, 2015
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