S**t People Say to Writers

Have you been published?

What do you write? Oh.

Do you have, like, a real job?

I don't read much.

Do you know Stephen King? What's he like?

You should write a book about my life, it's a bestseller for sure.

I'm gonna write someday, when I have free time.

My sister likes to read. Have you written anything she would know?

You write novels? I only read stuff that's real.

I read your book. It was... interesting.

My mother loves your books.

I've got a great story for you!

I thought books were dead.

You should write a screenplay! That's where all the money is.