Warning! “Star Wars” spoilers below!
In “The Rise of Skywalker,” director J.J. Abrams brings the nine-film main “Star Wars” movies to a close, bringing back old friends, tying up loose ends and somewhat retconning “The Last Jedi” along the way.
While the film does answer a lot of questions, such as the truth about Rey’s parents (she’s a Palpatine) and what the title “Rise of Skywalker” actually means (Kylo turns back into Ben; Rey takes on the Skywalker name), it also leaves us more than we know what to do with.
If you, too, have already seen “The Rise of Skywalker,” these are the questions and contradictions you might be left wondering:
So if Palpatine is Rey’s grandfather, who had sex with Palpatine?
How is Emperor Palpatine alive?
Didn’t he get blown to bits in “Return of the Jedi”?
What’s he been doing for the last 30 years?
Does he consider brushing his teeth to be ... unnatural?
How did Palpatine “conjure” a star destroyer fleet?
Who is manning those ships?
How’d he get hooked up to that nifty life support machine? Why doesn’t Rey just unplug it?
It looks like a big arcade claw grabber. Is it just a big arcade claw grabber?
Also, like, who had sex with him?
There’s a First Order and a Final Order, but what do I order to also get a side of fries?
So Emperor Palpatine “created” Snoke? Got it. What does that mean?
Why is Palpatine keeping a bunch of Snokes in pickle jars?
Wait ... jars ... Jar-Jar ... Is Emperor Palpatine secretly Jar-Jar Binks?
Why did Kylo say Rey’s parents were no one?
Was it because he was trying to protect her? Was it because he was using it as leverage? Was it because there wasn’t one writer in charge of overseeing all the new movies?
Whoa! Rey’s mom is Jodie Comer! Again, why did Kylo say her parents were no one? Has Kylo not watched “Killing Eve”? Why isn’t Rey’s dad also a main character from “Killing Eve”?
There’s a point where Finn’s about to tell Rey something, but he never does. What did Finn want to tell Rey?
Oh, so now people can Force Heal at will? That seems like it could’ve come in handy in the previous movies.
Which brings me to my next point ... sex with Palpatine ... who?
Why hasn’t a Babu Frik spinoff been announced yet? What the Frik? Give Babu the spinoff he deserves!
Why is Rose just relegated to side missions now?
What was the point of the Knights of Ren?
Wait, Leia trained to be a Jedi? Where was that in the previous eight movies?
Rey gets to hear Jedi voices from the past. Why didn’t Anakin ever speak to Kylo and say, “Hey, dude, I actually turned good at the end. You should watch the special editions”?
Luke grabbed that lightsaber, so can Force Ghosts just do anything now? If so, maybe he should, you know, help.
So by telling Kylo to kill Rey, Emperor Palpatine was really telling him to team up with Rey? Or ... wait, what?
Is this story basically “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child” in space?
Is Palpatine a dementor now? Just sucking the souls out of Rey and Kylo?
Why don’t Rey and Kylo just use a Patronus? Also, can Babu Frik be their Patronus?
Where’d all those hooded figures in the stands watching Rey and Palpatine come from?
How does the seating work at Palpatine Stadium? Is everyone a season ticket holder, or did they get passes last minute from StubHub?
Also, how did they know this battle with the Emperor was happening? Do they subscribe to his newsletter?
So all Rey needed was a second lightsaber to defeat Palpatine? Huh.
Why didn’t Palpatine just, like, stop shooting lightning out of his hands before he electrocuted himself?
Palpatine says he wins if Rey kills him. But she does kill him, so ... why did he lose?
Why can’t Palpatine just come back again?
Is Palpatine like It? He comes back every 30 years to act like a clown?
No one came to help the rebels in “Last Jedi,” so how did Lando gather a million reinforcements in the time it takes to heat up a Hot Pocket?
Oh no, are Rey and Kylo going to kiss? I have a bad feeling about this. OK, phew. No. That was a close one. I thought they were gonna — never mind. They kissed.
Wait, why did Kylo just disappear?
If Kylo died from Force Healing Rey, why didn’t Rey die when she Force Healed Kylo?
Why can Rey dish out Force Healing like Oprah dishes out cars, but Kylo does it once and he’s all, “Oops. I dead.”
Does Finn know Rey kissed Kylo? Does Poe know? Is FinnPoe just not a thing now?
What was with that moment between Lando and Jannah? Does he like her, like her? Is he her father? Is this all setting up a Disney + spinoff? Give us Babu Frik, you cowards.
Was Rey’s breath so bad it killed Kylo?
Also again, and I can’t stress this enough, who. had. sex. with. Palpatine? Show yourself!
What questions and plot holes stuck out to you? Let us know.