We know that many of you start your morning in that long line at Starbucks. Well, we're in line right behind you, and like many of you we have a love/hate relationship with Starbucks. Just like the men in our lives, Starbucks tastes so good and familiar, warms us up on a cold day, satisfies our addictions, but also drives us crazy and disappoints us time and time again.
Anyway, we would like to shake the hand of whoever decided to add healthy, real food to Starbucks' selection of the edible. We used to hate it when we would stand in line with low blood sugar and there were only rows and rows of muffins, scones, and fatty pastries gleaming before us. But now Starbucks has a colorful selection of yummy sandwiches, interesting salads, and our favorite - a fruit and cheese plate! If you have not tried it, we really recommend it. It only has 350 calories and it makes for an awesome breakfast, is fun to pick at for lunch, and even goes great with a bottle of wine for dinner. Thank you, Mr. Starbucks, for proving that sometimes real food tastes just as good as cake with our coffee.
While we love having healthy options, that doesn't mean that we don't want to splurge every now and then. When we walk in and decide to order a Frappuccino instead of our normal drip, we hate it when they give us the once over and say, "No whip cream, right?" No! Wrong! We absolutely want the whip cream - extra, please! Just because we may look "healthy" or "fit" or "whatever," that does not mean that we want to skimp on the whip. We'll tell you how we want to have our coffee, Starbucks. Don't judge us by our appearance or what city we live in and make the decision for us. We thought long and hard about our choice to have a treat, and we want to enjoy every last whip-creamy sip of it without you reminding us about the 500 empty calories. We know. We wrote a book about it. And we want all women to feel like they can order a mocha with whip cream without getting guilt from the damn "Barista."
Onto something slightly pettier - it really drives us crazy when we're seven people deep in line and the woman who is normally relegated to fishing pastries out of the case decides to get all ambitious and start taking orders from people in line. Then when we tell her we want a drip coffee, she goes and pours it and places it next to the register. Noooooooo!!! Don't make us stare at our delicious hot coffee for twelve minutes as it cools. That only makes us want to strangle the guy in front of us when he deliberates over whether or not to have his bagel toasted.
Also, please, Starbucks, please keep the milk jugs full. Or keep a spare nearby! We just cannot take it when we have finally procured our coffee and just need to doctor it, but the half & half jug is empty. And then it takes so long for them to get another one! Where are they keeping those things? We love the food and the employees' DVD and everything, but Starbucks is still primarily a coffee establishment, and coffee requires MILK. Keep it handy. Thanks, Starbucks. We love you...even though we kind of hate you.