Frozen by fear? Incapacitated by insecurity? Downed by depression? Overwhelmed and out of control?
Been there/done that.
It has come to me that breaking free of that bondage is simple, if not easy. It comes down to doing two things:
- Start from where you are
- Make a choice
This incredibly uncomplicated formula works every time, for personal or professional issues. Here's what you do:
- Start from where you are. In other words, assess your situation. Where are you physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally? What resources do you have at your disposal? What is going on around you? Be honest and very clear. There is no judgement in this: It is about what IS, not what it SHOULD be.
- Make a choice. Decide how you want to look at this. Are you choosing to be in the problem or the solution? Are you going to focus on the negative or the positive? You've already outlined the situation... do you choose to remain there or do you wish to move from it? Again, this is not a judgement, but it does require a great deal of self-honesty.
Here's an example from my own life: I was feeling very frustrated about a work situation. I felt that I had "done everything right," but it still was not moving in the direction I wished. I decided to try out this methodology. It sounded good, but would it really work?
First, I wrote down all that was going on regarding me and the situation. I was as detailed and honest and objective as I could be -- as if I was a consultant who was hired to come in and assess the situation. This included what I felt was missing from the picture -- the goal I hoped to achieve.
Next, I had to make a choice. Was I going to stay in the focus on how it wasn't working or was I willing to move past that and focus on what WAS working. That was not as easy as it sounded! There was a degree of comfort in staying in the fear and the dejection. If I chose to move past it, it meant that I had to do more work, and I was tired as it was with all I had done to get to this place. Again, I asked myself the question: Where was I going to put my focus? When I decided I wanted to focus on the positive, I realized that I had already accomplished quite a bit, AND this was only the beginning. Yes, there was more to do, but if I really believed in my project, I was not at a road block, but merely a recharging station, and was ready to take that deep breath and move forward.
When you have honestly taken the two basic steps, allow the next steps to flow. They make come to you all at once, or you may be able to only see what to do next. That's all you need. A journey starts with the first step, once you've made the choice to do so.