Hilarious Song Full Of F-Bombs About Staying Home Is The Song We Need Right Now

Who would have thought that a song that includes the lyrics “it spreads quicker than a hooker’s legs” could do such a solid public service.

Last week, a YouTuber named Chris Franklin released an explicit poem about the importance of social distancing during the coronavirus pandemic on his account. The poem, called “Stay the Fuck at Home,” addresses many people’s qualms about having to self-quarantine during the outbreak and turns many of the complaints on their head.

Verses of the poem include:

“But I need the gym/ I need the beach / I hear you bitch and moan / You need to grow a brain cell / And stay the fuck at home.”

… and …

“But I feel fine/ I don’t feel sick/ I’ll go out on my own/ How thick are you, you selfish prick/ Just stay the fuck at home.”

… aaaand...

“If you need to contact family/ Use Facebook, Skype or phone/ We’ve got the fucking internet/ So stay the fuck at home.”

At the very end of Franklin’s video, he says that his poem “could even be a song” and improvises the closing verse.

Well, a day later, a musician who appears to be named Bob E. Kelly (not to be confused with Robert E. Kelly, otherwise known as BBC Dad) turned Franklin’s words into an actual song, which he performed on piano on his YouTube channel “rekording.”

In his video, the musician stays true to the poem’s words with an upbeat melody … but does take liberties with the final verse.

Over the weekend, the hashtags #staythefuckhome and the cleaner #StayTheFHome trended on Twitter in response to the website staythefuckhome.com that includes a 12-point “Self-Quarantine Manifesto” that encourages best practices during the COVID-19 pandemic, like not touching your face, canceling events and avoiding public transportation.

It’s unclear if Franklin’s artistic endeavor inspired the hashtag or the site, but nonetheless all make the same and abundantly clear point — stay the F at home!