Stephen Colbert, a native South Carolinian, declared himself governor of his home state last night. Elected-Governor Mark Sanford has been missing for days, with staff claiming he was hiking the Appalachian Trail, and his wife saying she had no idea where he was. Much to Stephen's chagrin the rogue Republican returned yesterday revealing he had in fact been in Argentina "recharging" after a tough legislative session.
"Who is at the helm? The way Iran is acting up, and what about weather catastrophes? Hopefully no decision has to be made."
Colbert felt especially qualified for the job because he knows the area, has interviewed Sanford, and (most importantly) is present.