Stephen Colbert Puts A Sales Spin On Trump's Border Wall Prototypes

The late-night host hawks the designs with a dash of bitter reality.

Construction workers in California are building eight prototypes for walls that could eventually be used on the border between the United States and Mexico. The California Border Patrol bragged on Twitter that they were “making great progress.” President Donald Trump further boasted to Fox News, “They’re really looking good.”

Stephen Colbert was not impressed. And, unlike his talk-show competitor, Jimmy Fallon, who said in a recent interview that making fun of Trump is “just not what I do,” Colbert took the president to task.

“Really, really looking good,” Colbert mocked on “The Late Show,” imitating Trump’s voice. “I’m just saying, if they weren’t my wall, perhaps I’d be dating them.”

On Friday night, Colbert devoted much of his monologue to the ongoing ridiculousness of Trump’s pet project to separate the two countries with a massive wall.

In what took the form of more honest sales pitches, Colbert flippantly went through the bleak selling points of a few models.

CBS

For a model Colbert deemed “The Venetian,” he pointed out the inherent cruelty of slits in the wall.

“See-through means that immigrants can see a better life, but they can’t touch it,” Colbert said.

CBS

For “The Continental,” Colbert pointed out the spiky points atop of the wall.

“Fun feature!” Colbert hammed. “It keeps people out but also makes the country seem like a prison from the inside.”

CBS

And for “The Monolith,” Colbert got to the unfortunate truth about the whole project.

“Thirty feet of pure reinforced concrete. This model is the apotheosis of brutalist architecture, paired with the timeless tradition of fearing brown people.”

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