We hope Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon kiss and make up soon. But based on last night's episode of "The Colbert Report," such a reconciliation between the former Best Friends Forever For Six Months looks unlikely after Colbert proved that his ice cream flavor, AmeriCone Dream from Ben & Jerry's, is truly the Ice Cream of the Future -- and Jimmy Fallon's flavor is not.
In the wake of Dippin' Dots, the previous Ice Cream of the Future, filing Chapter 11, Colbert recognized the utmost importance of ensuring that another flavor takes its place. But he has reason to doubt its supremacy. After Ben and Jerry themselves told Fallon that Fallon's ice cream is outselling Colbert's, Fallon asked his viewers to send him in pictures of other activities that can be done with Colbert's ice cream -- other than eat it. Naturally, this infuriated Colbert, who believes in AmeriCone Dream almost as much as he believes in the American Dream.
"I don't want to crap on Jimmy's ice cream," Colbert said. "Because that would improve the flavor."
So Colbert did what any reasonable person would do and brought in a scientist to prove, definitively, that his ice cream is the most futuristic by forcing it to levitate.
In conclusion, Stephen Colbert spent a lot of money to make his ice cream float on television to show a rival talk show host that his ice cream is the heir to the Dippin' Dots throne. We are truly living in a golden age of comedy.