Let's cut to the chase (said Joe Hollywood). Steve Martin is great and always will be. Today that greatness comes in the form of a leaked tour rider, outlining his ridiculous demands. Unlike someone else's crazy requirements, they're clearly a joke, as the document was "leaked" on Martin's website.
A highlight: "One (1) designated runner to liaise with sound, lighting, production staff, artists and security. Must speak English, but not be the type when asked, "How are you?" that responds, "I'm WELL, thanks..."