Do body issues stem from society’s pressures?
From social media? The general media?
These are questions I receive not only as an Eating Disorder and Mental Health Therapist, but as a woman who openly discusses her recovery from an eating disorder. There’s often a desire to “blame the man”; to fuel anger around the existence of a thin ideal upon the patriarchal systems within society.
This thin ideal or the subliminal/obvious messages around a particular body type have an impact. They impact the average person strolling down the street viewing the billboards and ads that feature men and women who have been photo-shopped beyond belief, whose bodies aren’t even their own.
But blaming “the man” or even the advertisers who create imagery/ads that promote this body type is just too simple. Body image issues arise as a result of various components melding together. They often include low self-esteem, temperament, genetics, and a vast array of other factors including family, interpersonal relationships, and complicated emotional experiences. Sure, the media can play a role in exacerbating a pre-existing condition. For instance, for the young man who may feel inadequate, turning his negative feelings toward his body may be his psyche’s way of coping. Then, seeing the “ideal male” as having a certain body type, he puts all efforts into achieving said body type, as there is a belief that this will cause him to feel adequate.
The ads featuring men ripped and chiseled “support” the notion that being satisfied with his body will make him satisfied with self. But this never works. The “satisfaction” is only about the body, not about the true essence and is therefore fleeting. Then, when the next emotional experience arises that cause feelings of familiar inadequacy, or when he sees another ad, making him feel as if he could “do better,” the fleeting confidence dissipates and he’s left with the old self-consciousness, a self-consciousness that goes beyond the body and will not be improved or processed until he begins to practice introspection around his soul, his emotions, his essence.
To blame the ads or social media would be to ignore an essential part of awareness around body image issues. And yet, all the factors can and should be addressed and this includes the false images placed in the media that impact men and women, and especially children, telling them whether or not they should like themselves. It is not that I’m targeting the existence of the advertising world. I’m targeting the ads that issue blame and self-doubt based on unachievable standards. I’m also targeting the double standard within advertising.
This double standard, I refer to, is rampant among advertising targeted to women. As I scroll through my Facebook News Feed I see articles promoting body positivity, featuring women and men who “say it like it is” about their bodies, proliferating that weight, dress, size, and appearance do not make someone who they are, and do not bring lasting, true meaning. These types of articles are met with rejoicing– huzzah! – change is on its way!
But then, I scroll down and the same news source that features these strong individuals also cites articles on how to have a “beach body” and advertise diet pills. The same platforms that promote exercise as being about health rather than appearance, only show instructors who have the “ideal body,” rather than the average human who exercises for strength and empowerment, not a low weight. We see conflicting messages about feeling good about who we are but then changing who we are to feel good.
There have been major improvements IN certain companies offering only untouched photos, or articles by women for women about loving ourselves and respecting one another for qualities that run deeper than shoes or hair or makeup. Yet, we need to do more. We need to promote the idea that purpose of exercise should not be with the intention of “improving who we are” or “earning our bodies.” Exercise should be about strength and fun and health. Maybe some weight loss, but should that apply to everyone? Should the impressionable twelve year old, or twenty-six year old, feel that s/he should exercise only to achieve a certain look? Shouldn’t we instead spread messages around keeping our bodies healthy - doing so not for any unrealistic goal around self-esteem, but for enjoyment and longevity of life and empowerment?
We need to continue to demand that the way we speak about ourselves, about our bodies is in reference to strength, not improvement. When we choose to wear makeup – or choose not to – it should be about us and how we feel, not as a definition of self. Rather, a choice to be made. Definition of self arises from a composite of our likes and dislikes, our values, our feelings, our quirks, and our relationship with the world.
There’s nothing wrong with exercise or glamming up, or paying attention to how we look. But there is something wrong with sending out the message that this outer shell that inhabits the world is the true meaning of self. There is something wrong with sending out messages that “you can be better by looking better.” There is something wrong with young girls getting on the scale and staring at their stomachs, wishing they could “be better.” This is heartbreaking. And this is a reality.
We have an obligation, as a society, as human beings – to ourselves – to wake up and notice this double standard. Perhaps that is where we begin. We notice and become aware and point to those billboards, knowing that they don’t have to impact our feelings about ourselves. We can initiate conversation around change, awareness, and positivity not only around body image but around our overall experience in the world.
I look forward to walking the streets of New York City and experiencing change – perhaps not from the signs above me, but from the people, like you, around me.