We all know at least one of those perfect mothers. The mom who always seems oh so put together, whose kids are always well dressed, with a home that looks straight out of a Pottery Barn catalog, and her parties and projects are beyond Pinterest-worthy. She has the perfect life, right?
I don't know about you, but it sounds damn exhausting to me! The reason living in perfection sounds exhausting, is because it is exhausting. It's also a highly unrealistic expectation for your life.
It's such bullshit, because even the best of us cannot have it together all the damn time. We mess up, make huge mistakes and buy birthday cakes from the store. Yet you still compare yourself to her and feel inadequate.
She is patient and never yells. She would never bribe or threaten her kids. She tells them to use their words. She's all "there-there, are you okay? or mommy will kiss it." She only buys organic. Every day is a home cooked meal in her house. Her laundry is washed, dried, folded and put away all in the same day. Her beds are even made.
She makes it look so damn easy.
Spoiler alert: making it look easy can be easy, if you only show the polished parts of your life. Trust me, that picture-perfect, Facebook version you see is not the whole story sister.
Social media has filters and so do humans. People choose what to show their friends and followers. Personally, I'd rather hear about your kid's tantrum and the bottle of wine that came after, than someone's picture perfect family, or day, or life.
When they get hurt or things don't go as planned, it's 100% acceptable to say "I told you not to do that" or "That's life" (and probably laugh). Life is messy and they need the skills to overcome and bounce back.
You can absolutely lose your shit and tell them to just be quiet for 10 minutes. It's called self-preservation and they don't always get to say everything they want. They need to save that filibustering for the Senate.
It is more than okay to dine out or pick up carry out 2-3 times a week. The 30-60 extra minutes you'll get by not chopping and stirring and cleaning is 30-60 priceless minutes with your kids.
If it works for you, go ahead and keep a crap ton of candy on hand for bribes. Threaten to throw their toys away if they don't pick them up. No judgment here.
Laundry is a pain in the ass. My laundry frequently sits in baskets for days. Sometimes I just don't feel like it. They're clean, so that in and of itself is a good thing. Don't sweat the small stuff. Laundry is small stuff in the grand scheme of things.
Do your beds look like two lions were fighting under the sheets? So what! Who the hell cares.
If you only buy what your kids will actually eat, that's cool too.
Worrying about being a "bad mom" makes you a great mom. Just stop comparing your entirety to the snippets you see from the "good moms", k?
Your children are not entitled to an enchanted fairytale of a childhood. Seriously, f*ck that.
You're not less than if you need that glass of wine (or 3) at the end of the day.
A bad day (or week) doesn't make you a bad mom. Permission granted to go ahead and hide in the bathroom for 5 minutes.
Embrace the chaos. This is your circus and these are your monkeys. And for the love of all that's holy, stop giving a shit about the other moms that make you feel like you're doing it wrong.
Lisa Schmidt is a mom, blogger, DIY junkie and lover of life. If you like a little wine and sarcasm with your parenting, projects and outlook on the world, check out her personal blog here for posts like this and more.