Photo By Lew (tomswift) Holzman
Do you feel you need to be fixed?
I cannot imagine a more fruitless journey then to try to fix what isn't broken. Improvement... to what?
Working your ass off to become some ideal that was created by someone else?
I state this, because there's a misconception that we're all broken and for some of us it can be quite the obsession to fix what we think is fatally wrong.
Here's the truth... we're all flawed, screwed-up, messy, emotional (if you've compartmentalized your emotions, so you're numb -- then you're the walking dead -- you're just surviving!) and crazy in some aspect!
We're human beings... objectively speaking and subjectively we scrutinize ourselves and others with a microscope, trying to be the best... to compete... to create an illusion.
This isn't the key to a happy life.
At all.
It's a never ending hamster wheel of trying to do something that's impossible and quite frankly a waste of time... think about it, if you're about self-improvement (subjective)... what's the ultimate goal? Perfection?
Take a load off.
I have a better idea.
Just be fucked-up you.
Really.
Now some may disagree and like their hamster wheel, but I tend to go with the individual goal of feeling good, happy, having a lot of love in me and around me, enjoying what I do and making decisions that expand my true self.
I prefer to not be anxious, stressed-out, up in arms over someone else's bullshit, or what the world is or is not doing, because I simply do not have control. No one does... and if you worry about it, or think becoming an improved version of yourself is the answer to world peace... you're wrong.
It's about accepting who and what you are... getting to know what makes you tic (not what society says should make you groove), seeing your flaws and saying, "Okay!"
You were told those darker parts of you were unacceptable at some point in your life. The hardest thing to do is not improve, but to say "okay" to what is imperfect; otherwise pretending those flaws don't exist creates bigger insecurities.
It's hard to be yourself and happy. Why?
Because we worry to much about what others may think of us, we have a judge and jury in our head. We worry about abandonment; the loss of people connected to us based on some identity that never really belonged to us.
Our truth is fighting to come out all the time.
We bury it, because of our fears... the unknown, criticism, what if we're wrong, we fail, we get hurt, we have an experience we allow to prove some ugly belief true about us... we're alone, we feel taken advantage of and so on.
And guess what? All that shit that you and I allow to rule us, is meaningless. On the last day of your life and mine, we can look at everything we didn't do, that we wanted deep down inside... all the missed experiences and know that we're out of time.
That's it.
If you think improving yourself is the way to happiness, it isn't... it's actually how you avoid yourself.
Acceptance is deeper, it opens us up to being unlimited (which is far scarier than self-improvement), to really loving, to moving past our fears and saying "fuck it" it's only an experience... it moves us to stand for our truth... for our desires... our freedom... to be emotionally intimate, to allow ourselves to go into the deep dark caverns inside of us and come out with a smile!
Don't waste your human experience trying to be a version of yourself that you think is acceptable to others... just be you. Right now.
- Speak your truth
- Bring pleasure in your life daily
- Make choices that make you happy
- Challenge yourself to take risks to go where you want emotionally and physically
- Accept the dark, the light and all in between
- Value yourself
- Be kind
- Get clear on your heart's desire and make a change
- Leave anxiety on the floor -- don't paint the future with the past
- Let go of the illusion of control of a small world
- Let love in -- operate from that place
- Stop being busy all the time
- Remove people pleasing, don't commit, unless you really want to...
This is the work I do with clients. Call it whatever you want, but discovering who you are and living that truth is the most powerful call to live your life!