Stop Serial Dating the Wrong Guy: Change Your Type and Fall In Love

By Barbara Greenberg for

Oh my goodness; if I had a dollar for every lovely young woman who told me that the guy in question just wasn't her type, then I'd be an unusually rich psychologist! But that isn't my mission. What I am here to do, however, is to help you change course and encourage you to stop chasing after your usual type of love interest.

How many times have you heard yourself say, "He's just not my type" before you've even gotten a chance to know a man? Sure, it's hard to think outside of the box, but if your relationships are causing more grief than good in your life, then it's time to end this pattern. Here are five common ways you tend to define your type (I'm sure you'll see yourself here!) and some tips on how to break these habits and start casting your leading man better.

1. You judge him by his looks.

Some women define their physical type as tall and dark, yet others like blonde surfer boys. Look, girls, there's some truth to the old saying that 'you can't judge a book by its cover.' Before you turn down that next blind date because he doesn't have the physical characteristics of your preferred type, think again. The man you're turning down the date with might be a real peach and a real winner. The color of his eyes and the texture of his hair may not matter once you find out how absolutely delicious his sense of humor and personality are.

Do yourself a favor and try to date outside of your usual physical type at least four or five times. My prediction is that you'll then give up this idea of physical type. Trust me; I've been around.

2. You don't dig what he does for a living.

Many of you define your type according to what he does for a living. Some women prefer white collar professionals, while others prefer more artistic and musical types. Hey, a man is much more than just his occupation! In fact, you might be pleasantly surprised by the personalities associated with an occupation that's outside of your type. Give this a try, sisters, and you might just find your happiness with an artist rather than a lawyer. Go ahead. I dare you!

3. You consider him to be too old or too young.

Yep, many members of the sisterhood like older or younger men. Now, let me tell you that all men age and will eventually become older men. So go ahead and accept a date from someone who is a little older or younger than your usual type. You might just be pleasantly surprised and fall madly in love.

4. You aren't sure his personality suits you.

There are so many personality types. The types that I hear about most frequently are 'bad boys' and 'nerds.' Women tend to prefer the bad boy type because they seem to be adventurous and exciting. Well, let me tell you, girlfriends, the nerds out there can be equally exciting! Many of them are super-smart, super-fun and have the resources to live a mighty fine life. Thoughts?

5. You think he's too talkative or too quiet.

Whether he's extroverted or introverted is also a personality characteristic, but I feel that it deserves its own category. So often I hear women complain that he's "just too quiet for me" or "he's so outgoing he'd make me nervous." Sisters, it's possible that these introverts and extroverts might change their style of interacting if they're half of a couple. I've seen this with my own eyes repeatedly. I suggest giving the shy dude and his more gregarious bro a try. You might even find that the introvert or extrovert is a breath of fresh air for you.

I'm all about helping you fall in love. I love seeing my sisters happy. Being happy, though, may take a leap of faith. You might have to stray from your usual type. Take some risks and my advice and you just might be happier than you ever thought possible.

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