This is a heartfelt plea – a plea to all brides out there planning their weddings with the ambitious gusto of the Energizer bunny. The brides that are treating their wedding like an Olympic sport, and the ones that are letting their wedding take over their life (and everyone’s lives around them). This may be harsh but I say this with love – please, stop sucking the fun out of your wedding!
You know who you are. You’re guilty of dramatic outbursts and over reacting about the smallest details. You get upset when things don’t go exactly as planned and make a big deal out of nothing, and sometimes, you let other people’s drama take over your planning. This is a wedding – not jury duty. It’s supposed to be fun. But if you find that wedding planning has gotten dramatic, chaotic, and not as fun as you thought it would be, then listen up. It’s possible you are sucking the fun right out of it.
Stop thinking the worse.
I know you’ve heard this a million times and think it’s just fluffy self-help mumbo jumbo, but attitude is everything. If you are walking around only thinking of what is going wrong, then guess what’s going to happen? Yes, things might go wrong, but trust me when I say this – it happens to everyone. I know family members can be nuts, things don’t always run as scheduled and Mother Nature might send a torrential downpour, but that’s life. You might be worried things could go terribly wrong, but they could also go amazingly right. You can choose to let things (and people) bother you or you can choose to have fun even when everything gets chaotic and stressful. Focus on the good stuff and the other crap won’t matter.
Stop worrying about the little things.
If it’s not going to matter in ten years, it shouldn’t matter now. So many things have gone into planning this day, but in the end, it’s about you marrying the one you love and sharing those moments with family and friends. Worrying about the cake being delivered on time or if the weather is going to hold out just takes away from the fantastic memories you are making. Have fun in every moment, even the sh*tty ones. There will be many times in life where things will get gritty and serious, and your wedding day shouldn’t be one of them.
Stop taking on more than you can handle.
You know yourself. You know if you get stressed out easily. You know if you are busy and don’t have a lot of extra time. You also know who you can count on and who you can’t. No one said you should have planned a wedding in three months. No one said you had to have ten bridesmaids. No one said you had to take on all of those DIY projects. And no one said you should ask your notoriously late cousin to perform your marriage ceremony. Divert problems before they happen and don’t take on more than you know you can handle.
Stop overspending on your budget.
The entire point of a budget is to keep spending in check so that you don’t spend more than you have. Sure, buying nice things is fun, but not being able to pay for it all or stressing over where you are going to find the money isn’t. The fun part of a wedding isn’t just the wedding day, it’s also the months of planning before and the months and years of memories afterwards. Spending within your means keeps your mind free to enjoy the process instead of stressing about paying for it all.
Stop treating wedding planning like a competition.
You may have a few friends or family members that are getting married around the same time you are. Nothing gets the competitive juices going more than your obnoxious cousin bragging about the amazing wedding venue or the high-end photographer she booked for her wedding day. Take a deep breath – you don’t have to impress anyone here. Plan your wedding from the heart with your focus being on creating amazing memories and a fun-filled day for you and your guests and leave the games out of it.
Stop wanting everything to be perfect.
It’s an epidemic – the perfect wedding. Pinterest, magazines, and wedding videos are all illusions that lie to brides. They show you the perfect edited version but doesn’t show all the work that went into getting there, and the mishaps that went on behind the scenes. Perfection is impossible to achieve and only sets you up for disappointment. No wedding goes perfectly, not one. There will always be little hiccups, and yes some big ones too, and that’s ok. Just sit back and enjoy everything and let go of the idea of being perfect.
Stop letting others control your happiness.
I’ve seen it happen so many times – a well-intentioned bride will let the negativity of those around her bring her down. Either they suck the energy out of you with their drama, or cause stress because you are worried about their behavior on your wedding day. Hoping they will just act differently is hopeless. Do not expect people to change just because you are getting married. If your mother has been overbearing your entire life, she isn’t going to magically change on your wedding day. If your divorced parents can’t get along, they aren’t going to become friends just because you are getting married. All you can do is choose to ignore negative behavior, and decide that no matter what, you are going to have fun on your wedding day.