Stop Telling Me It's No Big Deal

So, you were able to control your gestational diabetes through diet alone, and the only minor annoyance was that you had to prick your finger a few times a day to record your blood sugar? That's just fantastic for you. My situation isn't working that way at all, and it's a big deal to me.
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"Oh, don't worry -- I had it with all my babies. Totally no big deal." - Nurse at my former doctor's office

"I had it with my second. No big deal. nnoying more than anything." - A friend

"It's totally no big deal. Just poking your finger a little and eating right." - Another friend

I could go on. When I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I got these kinds of statements from what felt like a gazillion people, and guess what? It is a very big deal to me, and when people tell me it's not, I kind of want to throw things at them.

I know that these women mean well, and I can certainly appreciate that, but to make a blanket statement about anything based only on one's own experiences with it is a stupid thing to do. So, you were able to control your gestational diabetes through diet alone, and the only minor annoyance was that you had to prick your finger a few times a day to record your blood sugar? That's just fantastic for you. My situation isn't working that way at all, and it's a big deal to me.

I'm eating all the things I should and none of the things I shouldn't. My diet is pretty much impeccable, and I didn't even have to change it too drastically because we already keep a healthy diet in this house. It doesn't matter. My problem readings are first thing in the morning (fasting reading after not eating all night) and after breakfast. (The first meal after not eating anything for 6-10 hours is bound to spike your blood sugar.) The fasting reading is flat-out uncontrollable, because it's a reading of what's gone on in my body overnight, and the breakfast is the hardest to control of any others through the day. They're also the most common high readings. This is a big deal to me.

So, what do you do when you can't just rely on diet? Your doctor puts you on medication, that's what. I was put on Metformin.

For two weeks on Metformin, I watched as... nothing happened. My readings were coming out as if I was on nothing at all. Imagine the frustration.

I went back to see my specialist, who frowns when I explain this frustration to him, agreeing that it's a problem. Before going with insulin, which means I'll have to give myself shots, he wants to try doubling my Metformin dosage. Now, instead of one pill twice a day I get to take two. He told me to call if I got two high readings. It's been a couple of days. I had to call this morning, and now I have an appointment tomorrow to "talk about insulin." That not only will suck, it will also make me feel like something must be super wrong with me if I can't control it with diet or pills. It feels like a big deal to me.

My OBGYN is also concerned about the fact that we're having trouble controlling those morning readings. She has said in no uncertain terms that I will not be permitted to carry past my due date, and that she fully expects me to go into labor early (between a previous early labor and the current issue). If I don't go into labor on my own, she will induce me. That said, I'm looking at several possible complications for the baby: excessive birth weight, which could result in a c-section; respiratory distress syndrome, which means my baby's lungs might not be fully mature, making it more difficult for her to breath (she may have that regardless, just because I have gestational diabetes) which would probably lead to a longer hospital stay for her; hypoglycemia, which, if it's bad, can cause seizures; a likelihood of her having type 2 diabetes later in life, and these are just the complications with the baby. These are very big damn deals to me.

My doctor has already told me that I'm measuring big, and has half-joked that we want to start being very careful -- we don't want me giving birth to a toddler, after all. Haha. They're going to be monitoring me twice a week starting with my 36-week visit, and I know that I'm in good hands. That doesn't stop me from worrying about my baby and what could happen if we can't get my blood sugar under control, and I'm pretty sure that worry goes with the territory when you become a mother. After all, they wouldn't watch me so carefully if they didn't think they needed to. They must see it as at least kind of a big deal.

So maybe stop telling me it's no big deal. Stop comparing my experience to yours. It is a big deal, and it's perfectly normal that I would worry -- just not too much -- so maybe try just being a supportive and calming influence.

And then I won't throw things at you.

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