Stop Thinking of Yourself as a Bride, and Start Thinking of Yourself as a Wife

It's very easy to get caught up in the magic of a wedding. Very easy to get caught up in the fantasy that getting married will make your life complete, finally. It's very easy to compare yourself to your married friends and think, "Single life sucks. Why can't I find someone?"

Except for that's not reality. That's just you envisioning yourself as a bride, and not a wife.

A bride:
• Looks beautiful on her wedding day
• Obsesses over details pertaining to an event, not an actual marriage
• Can't wait to have that ring!
• Ponders over whether to deeply kiss, or "church
kiss. I'm half-Jewish and know what a church kiss is. If you don't, google it.
• Considers the differences between blush rose or soft coral for her bridesmaids
• Appreciates the differences between floral arrangements
• Strictly demands that no one in the bridal party wear any tacky jewelry.
• Dying to show everyone her man!
• Has to pick songs for the evening that most people will enjoy
• Carefully arranges and coordinates seating arrangements and hotel accommodations for guests
• Listens to her bridal party's feedback without being a bridezilla (hopefully)
• Deposits are made for the photographer, DJ, reception hall, and more.

A wife:
• Looks at her actions and words to decide if they are kind, productive, and positive when dealing her husband each day.
• Obsesses over whether to drop that last argument already, or pursue the fight's importance.
• Can't wait to get time alone with her man, and weighs out how both parties should get to do something they enjoy
• Ponders how to positively engage with her husband's family...or whether to step away and let him handle the issues that might occur with them
• Considers how she can be a full person on her own, as well as in the relationship
• Appreciates the differences between her and her husband and tries to find a way to see his point of view.
• Strictly commands respect from her partner and does not allow him to walk all over her. It is expected that she will do the same for him.
• Dying to show him affection and doesn't let anger hold her love in as punishment.
• Has to pick her battles wisely.
• Carefully chooses her words during an argument so as not to let anger override her points
• Listens to her husband first, and then responds rather than preparing a rebuttal in the act of supposedly "listening"
• Deposits love into her husband's heart and esteem each day, even on the crappy days, which there will be plenty.

Being a bride is dramatically different than being a wife. You may have this fantasy about marriage and how great your life will be once you finally walk down that aisle but it's not set in reality. Rushing into marriage because you're thinking on the surface romantic level will only bite you in the tush later on. Being a bride is fun and exciting. Being a wife is sometimes boring, sometimes fun, but always work - and isn't that life anyway? A mix of the mundane, fantastic, and tedious? Of course when you are with the right person it will be a pleasant job and not drudgery! When you're with the wrong person marriage is a burden--for both parties usually.

Before saying "I do," ask yourself if you're saying yes to being a bride or yes to being a bride AND a wife. I hope you're seriously choosing the latter response.